I just received a Partner Talk brochure from you. On the backpage flap there isa story titled “Partner Encounters.” I want to share
with you some of my own Partner Encounter stories.
Some three years ago you set me up with a partner, Josh Feldman
from Detroit. The two of us learned together for about a year and
then he went off to learn in Eretz Yisrael without us ever meeting in
person. You then set me up with a second partner, Larry Rubin from
California. We’ve been learning together for about a year and a half,
also without ever meeting in person.
I want to make
two points based
on my experiences.
First of all, both of
the chavrusas that
you set me up with
were great matches
— you guys should
take your matching methodology
and become shadchanim! Second of
all, I have to admit
that I do hope and
believe that my chavrusas have gained much from the time that we’ve
spent learning and schmoozing together, yet I can say confidently that
I have certainly gained tremendously from our time spent together. I
look forward to our learning time all week long.
A few weeks back Larry told me that we’d be breaking for a few
weeks because he would be off in Egypt on a work trip. He mentioned
that he’d be taking a vacation from his work and meeting up with his
wife, who is Israeli, in Eretz Yisrael for a few days. Well, while he was
off in Egypt, my wife and I had the opportunity to go on vacation
to Eretz Yisrael. I contacted Larry, and sure enough, the day that we
would be landing in Eretz Yisrael was the one day on his trip that he’d
be in Yerushalayim. And so after learning together for a year and a half,
we finally met in the Old City of Yerushalayim. He and his wife and
my wife and I enjoyed lunch together in the Rova. We made up that
they’d come out to Lakewood for a Shabbos sometime in the future.
Earlier that day I had gone off to learn in my alma mater, Yeshivas
Mir, and while there I looked up an old chavrusa of mine — Josh Feldman, my original Partners in Torah chavrusa who is now learning a full
day in Yeshivas Mir. How nice it was to meet with him, too.
Now that Larry is back in California, our learning is back on track
again!
I want to thank all of you at Partners in Torah for this wonderful
organization that you have created. May you all continue to spread
the light of Torah throughout the world, and to see nachas from your
work.Read more
RETURNING THE GIFT
RETURNING THE GIFT
Stacey Baron
Several years ago I was matched up with a partner locally here in
Baltimore. My partnerinstilled in me a love of Yiddishkeit that I still
have today. She encouraged me to go to Neve Yerushalayim, and she
laid the groundwork for me to build and cultivate my identity in the
Torah outlook. She still serves as a mentor for me, as well as a friend.
Since then I’ve built a family, bli ayin hara, and in turn I touched another partner.
About three years ago, Partners in Torah contacted me with a
name of a girl to learn with. She was just starting out and wanted to
learn halachah. We hit it off well, and I encouraged her to learn more.
She went to Neve Yerushalayim during semester and summer breaks
until she graduated. I just had the zechus and nachas to wish her a mazel tov on her wedding last Thursday in Yerushalayim. I was so happy
that the chesed someone showered on me had additional influence on
this lovely girl.Read more
MEGA BIRTHRIGHT EVENT
MEGA BIRTHRIGHT EVENT
Rabbi Eli Gewirtz
I’m writing from Israel, where I am still on a high from the Birthright Israel“Mega Event” I attended this past Sunday in Latrun. As
we’ve done in the past, Partners in Torah set up an information booth,
along with fifty or so other vendors who come to sell their wares.
Our wares, baruch Hashem, went over quite well. Over eight hundred
people signed up for a partner!
Part of the Mega Event featured a concert and rah-rah session
where they heard a variety of speeches — including one from the
prime minister. The atmosphere was not terribly spiritual and there
were components that our staff could certainly have managed without.
While the concert was going on some distance away, exhibitors broke away to daven maariv. With my fingers pressed tightly against my ears to block out the background noise, I made it
through until Shema Koleinu, where I included a tefillah for the
over seven thousand acheinu b’nei Yisrael who were there. Whatever kavanah I was able to muster was shattered when the crowd
suddenly broke out in song, which was at first barely audible and
then turned into a frenzy. Unaccustomed to instant gratification as
I was, the tears started to flow when I caught the words: “Anachnu
maaminim b’nei maaminim... — We are believers the sons of believers and Hashem in Heaven is the only Source we can ever rely
upon.” I knew that most of them had no idea what the words
meant, but I couldn’t help but think (I know, I was supposed to
be davening) that despite the mundane nature of the event, the
message of the need to turn to our common Father was somehow
getting through. And if we all share the same Father, they’re obviously our brothers and sisters.
Though I’d love to stay in Israel for another month or two, I expect to return home early next week and face the daunting and exciting challenge that Hashem has put on our lap with these college
students. Recognizing that Hashem in Heaven is the only Source we can ever rely upon, I nevertheless welcome anyone who would like to
be involved — on any level — with this possibly once-in-a-lifetime
opportunityRead more
RIFKA, MY TORAH TEACHER
RIFKA, MY TORAH TEACHER
Sabrina Woodru
My name is Sabrina, and I am learning Hebrew and how to get
the most outof Shabbos from my Partners in Torah teacher, Rifka. I
need to tell you about her.
You see, I came to learn so that my last words to my family,
friends, and Hashem might be in Hebrew, the language of my people.
Although I have had many blessings in my life, health is not one of
them. But sometimes knowing when to begin counting the sunrises is
a blessing in itself. I want to leave them, my most precious blessings,
my babies, more than memories. I want them to have a Jewish life, as
they have Jewish souls. Read more
NOT JUST A PARTNER - ALSO A FRIEND
NOT JUST A PARTNER - ALSO A FRIEND
Pictures
Anonymous
I am writing to you to thank you for all you have done and are
doing.I was a mentor in Partners in Torah for two years, and I see the
great impact it makes on people’s lives. I taught in a day school and,
through Partners in Torah, the parents of one of my students made
their home kosher, and others are on their way up.
I started this off when I was single. I was hesitant to do it. I was
afraid I wouldn’t be able to answer my Partner’s questions. And who was
I, anyway, a twenty-year-old, to teach a woman old enough to be my
mother or grandmother? I realized it’s not the age that matters; it’s the
relationship that counts. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. Now I’m getting
married and moving, but I look forward to continuing it after my wedding when things settle down. I would encourage everyone to try it.
Based on my experience, these are a few things that I feel can
make it easier to get started:
• Sit with another mentor the first few times and observe how she
does it. When I did that, I saw it wasn’t so intimidating.
• Keep in mind that your Partner has come to learn because he or
she wants to know. He is coming to understand, not to argue.
• Don’t be afraid they’ll ask questions that you can’t answer.
They’ll honor the fact that you’ll get back to them. Time and
time again, I found words I did not think I had. Hashem puts
the right words in your mouth.
• Keep in mind that you are coming as a partner — a friend. It’s
important to show care and concern.
I encourage everyone to get involved. Once you start you won’t
want to stop. It will become a meaningful part of your life. I looked
forward to going as much as my partner did. It’s a two-way thing. You
both gain.
Good luck!Read more
AN END OF YEAR ACCOUNTING
AN END OF YEAR ACCOUNTING
Shayna Dena Rupp
Dear Rabbi Gewirtz and PIT Staff, Thank you so much for providing me with sucha special privilege of being a Partner in Torah. It is a unique opportunity for one's own spiritual growth. I never thought I would nd one hour a week to commit myself for this learning session, but Hashem has cer tainly given me special si- yata diShmaya to find it. Sometimes even on erev Shabbos , or (can you imagine?) on erev Pesach . At the end of each year as I make a spiritual accounting, I am struck by and inspired by this thought: I don t know what I'm coming with to the day of reckoning, but Hashem,Tuesday mornings from eleven to noon, almost every week, are all Yours!
May all our efforts bear fruit. May you merit enormous hatzlachah
in this special endeavor.Read more
STICKING TO THE SCHEDULE
STICKING TO THE SCHEDULE
Aviva Ghatan (of Blessed Memory)
On a recent Tuesday morning my special break from the world
was scheduled for ten thirty.After getting four young girls on the bus
by eight a.m., I bathed the littlest Ghatan and we were off for an exercise walk. I was detained on the way and found myself running late. I
also found myself running with a stroller down Ocean Parkway (quite
a sight). When I finally reached home, I quickly ran up the stairs. At
exactly ten thirty I reached my Partner, an established middle-aged
professional. Still huffing and puffing, I explained (so she wouldn’t call
an ambulance) why I was so out of breath. My Partner was so touched
that she too was out of breath. She said, “I am so happy this hour
means as much to you as it does to me. I’m amazed at what you went
through to be on time for me.”
Needless to say, I now understand the importance of having a zeman kavua, a set time for study. It’s important that we both honor it
“religiously” (no pun intended).
In life it is not always what we say alone that has an effect on
people but what we do. I wish you all hatzlachah in all your endeavors,
and may this special mitzvah of taking your time to spread Torah, and
taking it seriously, be a protection for you and your loved ones.
Read more
KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE TARGET
KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE TARGET
David Hager
I live in New York and I signed up for Partners in Torah just beforelanding a very demanding job in real estate law. After taking the
job, I was afraid that maybe the commitment to learn with a Partner
every week would be too much for me. But I decided to continue and
see how it would work out.
That was a long time ago. It’s been approximately seven years that
my chavruta, Ofer Gamliel, and I have been studying together. Ofer
lives in Indigo, California, near Palm Springs. We study once a week
and to date we have finished several masechtot of Gemara and many
areas of halachah.
Ofer is a professional commercial pilot, trained in Israel by the
IDF as an F-16 fighter jet pilot. A few years ago, Ofer was flying to upstate New York for his company and had an hour stopover in Newark
International Airport. Thus I finally got the opportunity to meet Ofer,
with whom I had been speaking on the phone for so many years. The
meeting at Newark was inspiring. When we sat there together, Ofer
shared with me something that is very interesting: When a fighter jet
pilot flying at full speed passes a stationary object, he will see that object only after it’s behind him. That is, one’s brain cannot process the
information fast enough; by the time the pilot can process the information and see the object, the jet has already passed it.
I think that this is a message to us as well. We travel through life at
extreme speed; we are so busy with our daily activities. Unfortunately,
we often do not see what is in front of us until it has already passed.
Thanks to Partners in Torah, we can slow down just a bit and focus
on opportunities of learning, teaching, and growing — such as those
weekly transcontinental phone calls I have had for many years and
hope to continue for many years to come. Read more
FINDING ANSWERS
FINDING ANSWERS
Binyamin Brager
Dear Partners in Torah,
I’m sure you hear this all the time, and it is somethingthat is
brought by Chazal, but I have certainly gained very much from my
Partner in Torah.
We have only been learning for a few months (Mesillas Yesharim),
but I have seen that I have gained so much, and this sefer lends itself to
bringing on some very relevant questions, especially for the newcomer
to Yiddishkeit. As a baal teshuvah myself, through learning with my
Partner I am reliving the exploration of many of those nagging questions that I had (and to some extent, still have) when I was just starting
out on my journey of learning Torah. There are so many things that
are so simple when you learn them, yet we haven’t thought to dwell
on them in the least bit. Learning with my Partner has helped to revitalize my own beliefs and attitudes, and hopefully is giving strength
and knowledge to my Partner, which will enable him to have a better
relationship with himself and with Hashem.
Thank you, Partners in Torah, for such a wonderful organization
that does so much for the frum community, as well as for the not-yetfrum Partners.
Best regards,
BinyaminRead more
HOME AWAY FROM HOME
HOME AWAY FROM HOME
Robert E. Goodman
In the summer of 2002, I found a flyer for Partners in Torah at
the AishHaTorah center in Rockville, Maryland, that I frequently attended. It seemed like an interesting program to study over the phone.
I had nothing to lose and everything to gain, so I tried it. I called
the Partners in Torah office and they asked me all sorts of questions
about my current Jewish observance, religious background, and what
I wanted to study. I was initially matched with someone who I was
never able to connect with, so I called up Partners in Torah again
to see if I could get a new Partner. I was immediately matched with
Bruce Listhaus of Flatbush, Brooklyn.
I was naturally apprehensive about studying with someone I had
never met who had likewise never met me. I see now how courageous
Bruce and I both were to try this experiment. As Bruce can tell you,
becoming more observant was new to me, rather scary, and even anxiety producing. I wanted to study Jewish texts with the utmost intellectual honesty, but I was not on a specific observance track to change my
religious outlook from the Conservative Judaism I grew up with to the
Orthodox Judaism that I now practice. Hashem moves in mysterious
ways, and it has clearly been bashert for Bruce and I to be Partners.
Bruce and I became fast friends immediately and even closer
friends during our continuing seven-year partnership. Our studying
together has given me a deeper understanding of our Jewish texts and
prayers, the Jewish calendar, the holidays and their ritual significance,
the importance of keeping a kosher and shomer Shabbos home, and
much more. Bruce has helped me to understand and internalize so
much about my Jewishness that saying “thanks” is not enough.
I am amazed that so much time has passed so quickly, that I have learned so much, that I have come so far, and that we have shared so
many significant and emotional milestones, like his son’s bar mitzvah, the marriage of one of his daughters, and the death of my dad,
Charles Goodman. As a study partner, Bruce was not obligated to
help and be so kind as to attend the funeral and make shivah calls,
but as a friend, Bruce felt he did. That is just the kind of man, the
kind of friend that Bruce Listhaus is to everyone who knows him and
loves him.
I have been made to feel as a welcome guest in the Listhaus home.
I have watched their children grow up and mature, and now see
their grandchildren doing the same. After seven years and hundreds
of study sessions, many Shabbosos spent in their home, celebrating
their family simchahs together, and celebrating of the completion the
Siyum HaShas at Madison Square Garden, whenever I call the Listhaus home, the phone is picked up with the usual shout to Bruce,
“It’s Rob!” and Bruce is quick to pick up the phone. The Listhauses
are a truly loving and nurturing family and I am honored to be their
friend.
I owe a great deal to Bruce for introducing me to his vibrant Jewish
community that is the congregation of Agudas Yisroel Bais Binyomin.
When I come to Flatbush, I feel as if I have a second home. I owe this
to Bruce for introducing me to so many kind, generous, warm, and
friendly people. Now, whenever I walk into the beis midrash to daven
or study, I am immediately greeted with warm smiles and friendly
handshakes by many of Bruce’s friends — and now my friends, too.
I carry the goodwill examples shown to me by Agudas Yisroel Bais
Binyomin into my own Jewish community and welcome the stranger
in whatever ways that I can.
Over the course of the last seven-plus years, I have traveled lightyears in my Jewish faith and observance. I know that I owe all this to
Bruce and Judy Listhaus and their family, to the congregation of Agudas Yisroel Bais Binyomin, and most of all to the tireless good souls
at Partners in Torah for making this possible and for showing me the
beauty, love, and value of Torah.
Read more
MY FAVORITE DAYS OF THE WEEK
MY FAVORITE DAYS OF THE WEEK
Irv Yitzhak Frumberg
I am new to Partners in Torah and only recently came back to my
Jewish beliefssince my return from Israel in 1976.
The Partner you have set me up with, Greg Wall, who lives in
New Jersey, has not only been a good partner, but has become a true
friend.
Living in California makes it difficult for me to attend your Annual Partner Appreciation Dinner on May 2. This is just a brief letter
expressing my personal appreciation to you and your organization.
I have started to attend minyan services on Monday and Thursday mornings, and to attend as many Shabbat services as I can at the
synagogue we joined only a few months ago. I haven’t been a member
of a synagogue since 1968, when I joined to have my firstborn learn
for his bar mitzvah.
The reason I attend the synagogue then is because those are the
days when the Torah is taken out to be read from and I’m able to give
it a kiss when it passes by me. I kiss it to show my reawakening love for
it and my rekindled affection for Hashem. I also figure it can’t hurt to
be looked upon with a little kindness from the One Above.
Shalom and todah rabbah,
IrvRead more
I'M IMPRESSED!
I'M IMPRESSED!
Freddy Sayegh
Dear Rabbi Gewirtz,
I could count on one hand the number of people who have been
ableto make an impact on my life. You, my friend, are one of them.
Though we have only recently met I feel like I have known you forever.
There are not many things that impress me in this world, but I
am both impressed and jealous of your love for klal Yisrael, which is
contagious and inspiring. I can’t help but think about what the world
would be like if we had more rabbis such as you leading am Yisrael.
I could easily write a few pages telling you how much I love being a part of your program and how much I look forward to studying
with my Partner every week. But I won’t bore you, because I know
anything that I write you must have already heard a thousand times over. I only wish there was a way for me to thank you enough. Since I
cannot come up with any good ideas, I will be open to suggestions. If
there is anything you feel I could do to help you promote PIT, please
don’t hesitate to ask. I will always do my best.
Hazak u’baruch!
Sincerely,
FreddyRead more
A TRIBUTE TO MY TORAH PARTNER: KEN YIRBU
A TRIBUTE TO MY TORAH PARTNER: KEN YIRBU
Steve Lerman
It all started with my business client and friend Eli Shindler, who
asked me one dayif I would maybe consider doing weekly telephone
learning with a study partner. Um, possibly, I replied, if I have the
time, maybe, um...let me think about it...maybe.
I had no idea (although I should have) that possibly-let-me-thinkabout-it-maybe to an observant Jew who is committed to regular Torah study means absolutely!-now!-definitely.
Not thirty seconds later he handed me the phone and I found
myself talking to Partners in Torah, and thus began a series of events
that has changed my life.
After talking to me at length, Partners in Torah teamed me up
with Gedalya Engel, who was since honored by the organization as
a chaver tov. He certainly has been a chaver tov to me! Gedalya and I
finally connected by phone and in no time at all I knew that Partners
in Torah had chosen the right chavrusa. I felt comfortable immediately
and we had a terrific conversation about learning and what to learn. I
decided that since I had never really gotten a good read on Chumash
with Rashi, this was the place where I would like to start.
We started learning near Simchas Torah, and we have had only a
few missed sessions. Considering both our schedules, this itself is remarkable and shows our commitment to learning. We vary the topics
for special weeks such as Purim and Pesach, which makes the learning
that much more interesting.
But Gedalya’s impact doesn’t stop there.
In December of last year, my eighty-seven-year-old mother passed away after a long illness. One evening during shivah a new face appeared in the house, and I knew who it was even before he spoke. Of
course, once he spoke it was obvious: this was the owner of the same
voice I learned with each week. Gedalya had come to pay me a shivah
call all the way from Brooklyn to Plainview. It was ironic to meet for
the first time at a shivah, and it was a meeting that I will not forget.
He got my address from Eli Shindler, even though the two had not
met before this (never mind how they made contact; as Harry Golden
wrote, “All Jews meet in a basement once a week”).
That same evening Eli and others from Geri-Care, the company
that Eli owns, also paid me a shivah call, and that’s when we learned
that Geri-Care is a sponsor of the St. Louis Shabbaton that Gedalya
and Chany Engel help run. The conversation turned to the Shabbaton, and my daughter Erica found it all very interesting. The next week
found her on the bus to St. Louis, where she had a wonderful time and
became fast friends with Chany. Now Erica also has a chavrusa, Chava
Lea Abramson, and is learning each week and giving us all lots of nachas. Gedalya’s warmth and friendship have enriched my family.
Through this experience, I have come to feel much closer to my
Jewish heritage. I have gleaned wonderful lessons from Rashi’s insight,
and also learned just how daunting Rashi’s task was (“Rashi didn’t
have ArtScroll,” as Gedalya points out; baruch Hashem, we do). And I
also learn from Gedalya’s knowledge and experience, and his love for
what he does — which is so contagious — and I am tremendously
grateful. For such chavrusas, ken yirbu!Read more
INNOVATIVE OUTREACH
INNOVATIVE OUTREACH
Rebecca Wolf-lippmann
Dear Rabbi Gewirtz,
I am more than delighted with your innovative outreach program
for teaching Torah tothe entire Jewish community of all denominations.
I am blessed to have an Orthodox Partner in Torah, Marilyn Silverman, who lives in Spring Valley, New York. I am a Reform Jewess
who observes kashrut, Shabbat, and festivals, in addition to teaching
Torah on a rotation basis at Temple Sinai in Delray Beach, Florida,
where I am vice president of religious activities.
Aside from Shabbat, one of the highlights of my life is my weekly
Thursday night chat with Marilyn. Thank you for making this possible.
B’shalom,
RebeccaRead more
SAME NAME, SAME HERITAGE
SAME NAME, SAME HERITAGE
Rachel B. Rubin
My Torah Partner and I have been learning together for the past
three years. As soonas we were matched, I felt incredibly fortunate.
Aside from being the same age and sharing the same first name, we
had a similar outlook in life, yet hers was infused with an understanding of Judaism and Torah which I did not yet possess.
Rachael Avigdor and I first met face-to-face at the Partner Appreciation Dinner in May of 2006. I spent the night in her house
in Brooklyn — we watched an empowering Jewish movie, walked
around Williamsburg, and enjoyed seeing one another face-to-face.
Since then we have met numerous times — at Rabbi Gewirtz’s house
for Shabbos, at her parents’ house for Shabbos several months later, for
a friend’s wedding, and, most recently, for my own wedding.
I felt extremely blessed to have my Torah Partner attend my wedding; she was an amazing presence and really brought to life the lessons we had learned together about marriage and partnership. My
Torah Partner is a wonderful teacher and friend, and she is also one of
the people I admire the most in the world. She truly lives her life by
the Torah, always doing her best and helping others. She is an inspiration and I feel truly blessed to have her in my life.Read more
A VIRTUAL MEZUZAH HANGING
A VIRTUAL MEZUZAH HANGING
Vivian Lerer
I have been learning with my Partner for a little over two years. It
has beenan inspiring journey for the both of us.
She had a limited background in Judaism, consisting mainly
of memories from her grandparents’ Seder and her grandmother’s
candelabra, which she inherited. Her original quest was to learn
how to read Hebrew, and that allowed me to segue into many
areas, such as the chagim, the parashiyot, and customs and ceremonies. She now lights candles and says Modeh Ani and Shema
each day.
Through mutual consent, my Partner and I decided to do our
learning using Skype and a webcam, facilitating our experience and
making it more personal. I encouraged her to get a mezuzah and have
someone — in this case a Chabad rabbi — put it up on her front
door.
As we continued our learning and explored the three parashiyot of Shema, I encouraged her to consider putting up additional
mezuzot. She received two as a gift from a friend and purchased a
third.
Unfortunately, getting someone to hang them on the doors presented a logistical problem, so I suggested we make use of our webcams and engage in a virtual mezuzah hanging. I sent her notes on the
placement of the mezuzah, and we had a sort of dress rehearsal before
the actual placement on the lintel.
When she felt completely confident about the procedure she put
it in place and said the berachah. She was so touched and truly felt a
moment of spirituality. This is the area we are working on now, spiritualityRead more
A SPIRITUAL DOMINO EFFECT
A SPIRITUAL DOMINO EFFECT
T.e.
To the generous benefactor of the tefillin,
Words cannot sufficiently express my gratitude to the donorwho
made this mitzvah possible.
Without the support system of a family, taking on many mitzvahs
at once can be a great financial strain. I want the donor to know that
not only is he helping me to fulfill the mitzvah of tefillin, but his generosity has also cleared the way for me to fulfill many other mitzvahs
as well, creating a spiritual domino effect that will continue for the rest
of my life. Every mezuzah, every kosher meal, every pair of tzitzit will
be bolstered by your generosity.
Every day as I put on these tefillin I will do my best to remember the generosity of the anonymous donor and the person in whose
honor this was done. Thank you for doing this great service for me
and the Jewish people as a whole. Read more
THE TEFILLIN CONNECTION
THE TEFILLIN CONNECTION
Stephen F.
Dear Rabbi Gewirtz,
My name is Stephen and I am sophomore at MIT. I am writing
toyou in order to send a heartfelt thank-you for the tefillin that I received from your organization a week ago.
I thought perhaps your benefactors might like to hear the story of
my religious “journey” over the last two years.
My family is Reform but active. I was born and raised in Kansas
City, a city with many virtues; however, diversity in Jewish identification and practice is not one of them. Growing up, I strongly identified with “being Jewish,” but that was only within the limited context
of my experience, which was attending services on the High Holidays, celebrating Chanukah and Pesach, and attending bar mitzvahs
of friends and family. I would say that I always “believed” in Hashem,
but not in a critical manner and not in a way that influenced my decisions. In providing this description, I would like to firmly assert that I
am in no way trying to criticize the Reform movement, but rather just
explain that it simply did not engage me.
My views changed largely because I attended school in Massachusetts and was exposed to Jews from a variety of backgrounds at MIT
Hillel. To condense a rather long story, I decided over time that it was
valuable for me to observe mitzvot in the Torah. Shabbat was a given
because it was my gateway to learning about Judaism, and it quickly
became my favorite component of observant Jewish life. I was more
skeptical in my approach to prayer.
I prided myself on my approach to Judaism as being highly selfmotivated. The first “book” on the reading list was the Torah, of
course. Inspired to read for myself the Toraitic injunctions to keep
kosher, observe the Sabbath, act charitably, and the like, I strengthened my conviction to observe sometimes less-than-convenient laws.
I couldn’t find a Torah reference to prayer, though. This made me
confused. Why should I do something thrice a day if it’s not even in
the Torah? I thought.
Well, the Torah is not the full story, of course. Prayer, I learned,
was formalized by our Sages in the second century as a substitute for
the Temple service. For me, this was a bit of a letdown. Then there was
the issue of tefillin. I thought they were — in a word — weird.
I actually consciously rejected them. It is a commandment to have
the words of G-d as a sign on my hand. Why did this mean something
ritualistic as opposed to the pragmatic message of “using” one’s hands
to perform tikun ha’olam? I read the Torah on my own, and the latter
was the meaning that I had devised...it made sense to me.
I raised this issue to my Orthodox friends. They told me that tefillin are a symbol and a reminder to use your hands to perform good
deeds. I wasn’t convinced...because I have found that at MIT and in
other places, the Reform community tended to be much more active
with social action than the Orthodox community was. In short, the
tefillin confused me. They seemed to stand for a good idea in principle, but it seemed to me that the emphasis on ritual detracted from
what I perceived to be the “big picture.”
Two things changed my mind. One was the first time I actually
put on tefillin, which was at an AIPAC program over the summer. I
made a friend named Amir, who knew a friend of mine in Cambridge.
One morning that I had woken up early, he asked me if I would join
him for services. Later, he asked me if I had ever worn tefillin. No, I
said. Cautiously he asked me if he could show me how to lay them,
and I agreed. This made him very excited and he told me that this was
a big deal.
This story isn’t one of those types of baal teshuvah–type stories
where I suddenly, upon putting them on, had some powerful connection to Hashem. Actually, it was highly anticlimactic and confusing
because it took me about fifteen minutes to get them on. In some
ways, the process still seemed more like a ritual than a meaningful
connection, but through Amir, I found a much more earnest and what
appeared to be sincere desire to “be” Jewish than what I perceived
among Orthodox students in my own community.
The second experience was my Birthright trip. During the trip,
one of the rabbis whom I got to know through several conversations
provided me with the contact information for your organization.
My attitude toward tefillin changed. Yes, they were ritualistic,
and yes, I did not understand them, but the ritual became something
much more. In the ritual, I sensed an amazingly powerful connection
to my people’s history... It amazed me to think that tefillin had been
used as a way for Jews to connect to G-d for so many generations. It
also became a motivation for me to pray, which I have begun to do
about once a day.
I kept in contact with Amir and spent a Shabbos as a guest with
him once. I told him that it meant a lot to me that he showed me
how to put on tefillin six months earlier. He told me that one of his
friends at his high school had taught him how to use them, and that a
year later he had died of cancer. You can imagine how shaken I was to
hear that. He told me that when he puts them on, he remembers the
friend. I felt strangely connected to the person Amir was describing
through the shared experience bound in teaching a peer how to use
the sacred objects. I still believe that there are other ways to observe
the commandment in Deuteronomy 6:8, but I felt a strange but personal desire to make this traditional mitzvah my own.
I thought perhaps the benefactors of my subsidized tefillin might
like to hear this story.
Best regards,
StephenRead more
TORAH: MY EMOTIONAL SUPERGLUE
TORAH: MY EMOTIONAL SUPERGLUE
Aharon Birenbaum
This is my last month of Partners in Torah. I am leaving to learn
in yeshivahin Eretz Yisrael at the end of August. I must say thank you
for something I appreciate incredibly.
First of all, I would like to thank Partners in Torah on a personal
level. My Partner, Shimi, has, over the past two years, grown to be one
of my closest friends and confidants. I am so glad to have met him
through your amazing organization. It was a godsend. Our one-hour
sessions in Mesillat Yesharim, and then later Nefesh Shimshon, were the
highlights of my week. Sometimes we would just discuss Torah, life,
and Hashem, and carry on late into the night. Shimi influenced me
greatly, and I cannot adequately describe his incredible patience and
sensitivity in dealing with me and in listening to me vent my frustrations. I cannot express my gratitude to Partners in Torah for setting
us up, granting us the time on the phone, and the (light) badgering
to get started.
On a more global scale, I am privileged to be a participant in such
an amazing program. The support the mentors provide is unquantifiable. More than anything else, the secular world screams out for
friendship. Deep care, trust, and commitment are rare to come by in
this dark pit of an atheistic world we live in. To have a true friend is so important. How much more so when this friend becomes a mentor
and teaches life lessons and shares values!
As I have learned through Shimi, nothing serves as emotional superglue as much as Torah. I’m sure your work is not easy. From finding
the mentors to nagging the participants, from fund-raising to chizuk,
Partners in Torah seems like it is trudging uphill both ways. However,
let me be one to say thank you, for your dedication, your perseverance; your efforts have not gone unnoticed. I wish the organization,
its supporters, its volunteers, its participants, and all of klal Yisrael
much success, blessing, advancement in Torah, growth in middos, and
all other great things.Read more
LIFE AND THE PARASHAH
LIFE AND THE PARASHAH
D.s.
Hesh and I have been studying the weekly parashah. He is very
good at this. SometimesI do all the talking and other times he does
all the talking. Usually I play the role of the one who takes notes and
listens. My wife always wants to know what Hesh had to say about the
weekly parashah. All my friends know about Hesh and they too sometimes ask, “What does Hesh say about this?” Oh, I even have had a
couple of rabbis I know asking about Hesh’s insight on the weekly
parashah.
Since we have been studying together, I have noticed that my life
for that week kinda coincides with the parashah. I don’t know why, it just does. Wow, did you guys know that Partners in Torah did that?
It may be Hashem’s way of telling me that I made a good choice with
Partners in Torah.
I finally got to meet Hesh in person last year. As we traveled from
Spain to Dallas, we stopped over in New York. We met and talked as
we waited for the plane. He met my wife and daughter. I have sent
him a couple of family movies of ourselves. The relationship has become a friendship. Read more
THE SANDY SPRINGS JEWISH “WRAPPERS”
THE SANDY SPRINGS JEWISH “WRAPPERS”
Don Memberg
Dear Rabbi Gewirtz,
Please extend my heartfelt thank-you to your organization and
to the donor who madeit possible for me to get these beautiful and
kosher tefillin.
As president of our small and special congregation, I have found
inspiration to become even more involved in my Jewish heritage. I had
been borrowing tefillin since my own tefillin from my bar mitzvah have
needed replacement. At our congregation, we started the “Sandy Springs
Jewish Wrappers,” and encourage coming to services on Sunday morning to “wrap” tefillin, then “rap” right after at a breakfast and learning session with the rabbi.
It is catching on. I’ve attached a copy of our jingle for your enjoyment.
Here in the neighborhood of Sandy Springs,
we are now on the Atlanta synagogue map!
I hope you’ll soon
be getting lots of other
calls for tefillin as more
and more people, like
me, look for a more
meaningful journey of Jewish learning and discovery.
Sincerely,
Don Memberg, President
Congregation Anshei Chesed
Read more
LAYING TEFILLIN IN MISSISSIPPI
LAYING TEFILLIN IN MISSISSIPPI
Roman K.
To Whom It May Concern:
First of all, please forgive me for the delay in expressionof my
sincere appreciation and thank you for the tefillin that I received from
your organization two and a half weeks ago. I would like to thank both
you and specifically the donor for the amazing gift of tefillin. Without
the donation I would not have been able to afford them at this time,
and doing the mitzvah every day for the last two weeks has been very
rewarding. I was at first adamant about first saving the money to buy
a pair (I am a college student), but after much consideration I realized
that the sooner I am able to wear them the better.
An interesting occurrence happened when I got the tefillin. The
day the pair arrived I was leaving to go to Mississippi to help rebuild
after Katrina. It so happened that the five people from the local Hillel
that I was going with and I were going to stay for the week with an
organization called CORE, Christian Organization Relief Effort, in
Ocean Springs by Gulfport. Like most everybody else down South,
these people are a religious group of Christians that got together to do
missionary work in the form of relief.
We were sent to them because the new NECHAMA organization
was not set up yet in New Orleans. I was very concerned and very selfconscious about taking the pair of tefillin with me into this situation,
but there was no way I would leave them behind now that I had them,
and I felt that I must put them on every day that was allowed, with no
delay. So I decided to take them down with me and hopefully have the
courage to put them on every morning.
Each morning after breakfast, when 99.5 percent of the Christians
there, all very nice people, had their devotion service in the church
right by the camp, I would sneak off and lay tefillin. By the end of the
week I was comfortable enough to even wear a yarmulke on Shabbos
(I had worn a baseball cap until then) in full view of the entire Christian camp.
The purpose of this story is to say that although one might think that the more one does according to the Torah and rabbis, the harder
life becomes — and that one must live with constantly looking different and for that reason be ashamed — I think that wearing the tefillin
made me stronger and more confident about being a Jew and being
proud of it. That week in Mississippi was meaningful for me because
we helped people, but also even more so because in putting on tefillin
I was able to start each day of hard physical labor knowing that I had
connected with my Jewish faith.
I would like to once more express gratitude for the tefillin and
extend a yasher koach to the donor and to your organization for what
you provide to college students, many of whom are in the process of
finding where they belong Jewishly, and in the greater world, which
often comes hand in hand.
I would also like to extend a very big yasher koach to Rabbi Aryeh
Cohen from the Minneapolis Kollel, whom I first met at the Maimonides Program and who got me the tefillin from your organization.
Sincerely,
Roman
Read more
JUST A LITTLE LOST
JUST A LITTLE LOST
Doreen Deney
I want to share the story of how I met my Torah Partner. I livein
Florida but was in New Jersey for a few weeks this past June. I have
never driven in New York and was told it could be a very frightening
experience. Still, I wanted to meet my telephone study partner, who
lives in Brooklyn, because she and I work so well together and I have
been learning so much from her. Wanting to put a face to the name
and the chance to meet my Partner in person, I took the challenge
and actually drove through Manhattan, over the Brooklyn Bridge, and
into lands I had never before ventured.
I only got a little lost, but eventually I found my way. My meeting
with my Torah Partner was a wonderful experience, and I am so glad
I got to spend some time with her in person.
It’s funny, but as I write this, I realize that the story I’ve just told
you is a metaphor for my experience with Judaism, in the sense that
I am “just a little lost but I am slowly finding my way.” And that’s
thanks in large part to my Partner in Torah. Thanks for putting us
together and giving me a chance to explore my heritage with such a
wonderfully knowledgeable and giving mentor.Read more
TORAH IN EL PASO
TORAH IN EL PASO
Larry Lesser
Out here on the western tip of Texas, structured opportunities for
individualized learning with people withstrong Judaic backgrounds are
limited. Thanks to Partners in Torah, I began learning regularly with
Akiva in the spring of 2006, starting with Pirkei Avot and then moving
on to ArtScroll’s volume 3 of Seder Moed. Nearly each week, our session
not only involves learning the actual content of the text but also helps
me improve my Hebrew reading skills (so that I have a chance to keep
up with my nine-year-old son, who is a student in El Paso’s small Jewish community day school). Akiva is patient and receptive to my varied
questions (whether or not they directly relate to the mishnah at hand)
and e-mails me during the week with answers on the rare occasions
when he cannot supply them during our telephone call.
While there are many differences in our backgrounds, it is heartening how this is not an obstacle — and is sometimes a strength — to
our learning. It is meaningful that we not only learn together but also
exchange holiday greetings and share in each other’s milestones. For
most of the last year, our learning was dedicated to the merit of my
father-in-law, z”l, and last year I was also touched to receive an invitation to the wedding of one of Akiva’s daughters. Unfortunately, I was
not able to attend, but I got to see wedding pictures.
I did have the pleasure of meeting Akiva in person when a spring
2007 academic conference I attended brought me to Brooklyn. After
Havdalah, Akiva picked me up from the conference and brought me
back to his house to do some in-person learning, meet some of his
family, and enjoy delicious refreshments.
While time will tell whether El Paso is meant to be a long-term
home for me and my family — we’ve been here since 2004 and I
have a tenured position at the university here — I am so grateful that
Partners in Torah offers an avenue for continued Jewish learning and
growth between any two cities that telephones can connect.Read more
THE BEST PART OF MY WEEK
THE BEST PART OF MY WEEK
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Jeff Kates
I have a suburban, Long Island, New York, liberal, scientific, Reform Judaism background. After college,I moved to a small southern
city with a small Jewish community. At that point, I had some personal experiences that made me want to speak to an Orthodox rabbi.
I called the phone number on a random Jewish charity fund-raising
mailer that had arrived at my office and asked the man who answered,
“Is there an Orthodox rabbi there I could speak to?”
He responded in a heavily accented voice, “We are all rabbis
here.”
When I told him about my situation, he told me that I needed to
call a 1-800 telephone number. He sounded busy and said no more.
I followed through, and contacted an office in Jersey where I was told
they would arrange for me to have a study partner.
The result has been fantastic. I have studied with my Partner almost every Tuesday evening for the past eight years. When we study it
is as if the world stops, and a new world of Torah begins. I never could
have imagined that weekly Torah study would be one of the best parts
of my week and my life. Eight years of study have rushed by. It seems
like only yesterday that we began. I look forward to my Tuesday night
studying. It is enlightening, uplifting, and a haven. It is wonderful to
have a Partner in Torah.Read more
MEETING ON THE MOUNT
MEETING ON THE MOUNT
Sanford Kadish
Rav Chanina Goldfinger, of Brooklyn and Montreal, has been
my Partners in Torah chavruta for aboutsix years now. We’ve been together through so much, covering Masechtot Berachot and Sanhedrin.
Chanina has patiently guided me through some more challenging sugyot, and I shared several of the margin notes from the Israeli Steinsaltz
version of the Gemara.
We had a wonderful experience when we actually had a chance to
meet a couple of years ago in New Hampshire — a case of hashgachah
pratit that must be shared.
Chanina’s extended family was coming down from Montreal at
the end of the summer to spend Shabbat at a ski resort in Lincoln,
New Hampshire, and I was working in Manchester, New Hampshire.
Prior to his family’s excursion, we arranged to meet on the following
Sunday morning and spend the day together. Chanina had called me
using a phone card, and I told him that I would call from my cell
when I was close to Lincoln. Lo and behold, the cell service in the mountains in that northern area is often iffy.
I kept trying to call and stopped at every resort, notably the one
where I thought they had stayed. I checked every tourist stop in Lincoln, and there are several. After about an hour of traversing the area
and inquiring to see if a Goldfinger family was registered at each resort
(which again and again got me only the following, to be read with
a good New England accent: “Goldfingah — like the James Bahnd
movie — nevah stayed heah!”...), I was ready to head back to Manchester. Clearly better planning would have been advisable.
Just on a lark, I stopped one last time at the major tourist information location. Lo and behold, I saw a full-sized copper minivan
with Quebec plates and a mother and two daughters attired in the
requisite skirts.
“Mrs. Goldfinger?” I inquired. “I’m Sandy!”
“Baruch Hashem — you found us!” she shouted joyfully. “Chanina is inside getting information. Go get him!”
I had the stark realization then that I had never seen a picture of
Rav Chanina. However, realizing that most everybody else in a tourist
trap would likely be attired in short pants and a T-shirt, I ventured
forth. Needless to say, there was only one person in the store with a
kippah and tzitzit, so we embraced and sighed with relief.
We spent the rest of the day together. Chanina had with him his
family (all girls at that time — they have since added a son), his wife’s
parents, and his sister-in-law, who was equipped with a camera for the
incredible sights. It was a glorious day of sightseeing at White Mountain, viewing another of Hashem’s profound creations that clearly confound atheists.
I gave his daughters horsie rides and finally got all of their names
down pat. We shared thoughts which we had not discussed previously
on the phone. Chanina had brought some incredible cookies from one
of Montreal’s best bakeries, which I enjoyed the entire following week.
Finally, we bid adieu and headed back home. It was a wonderful day
and clearly worth sharing as one of those great stories.Read more
MY OWN LIVING STORY
MY OWN LIVING STORY
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Rebecca Hale
I live in Incline Village, Nevada, which sits directly on the north
shore of Lake Tahoe,in the Sierra Mountains, with my husband of
eleven years, Brian, and our two children, Madeleine and Dylan.
It was my sister who first connected me with Partners in Torah,
which is based in New York. It was really like a miracle to have some-one to learn with, because there are almost no knowledgeable Jewish
women anywhere close to where I live right now. It is so hard at times
to stay on track and handle all the influences that my family and I
need to deal with.
I studied with my first teacher, Rivka, for about six months.
I enjoyed learning with her tremendously, but she had to take a
break due to the arrival of baby number three. Rivka still calls me
to check in periodically, and I often think of her with warm wishes
and prayers.
The next teacher assigned to me was Leba, which means love.
This is a perfect name for her. The funniest thing about Leba is that
she calls me very late at night, around midnight or one o’clock New
York time. This is probably because she is very busy with her family,
so I am thankful when I realize that she is making special time for me.
We have studied very well together, and I feel like I’m progressing a lot
with making the Torah my own living story.
Learning one-on-one with another woman is an excellent way to
study. Leba is very knowledgeable, and has been learning for a long
time. Putting a special woman’s perspective on Torah is something
that I believe a woman can really do best. For example, when we studied the story of Moshe, Leba pointed out to me that it was Moshe’s
mother, Yocheved, and his sister, Miriam, who conceived and carried
out the entire plan for Moshe’s rescue. They refused to be daunted by
the anti-life forces that were confronting them in Egypt, and through
their intelligent planning for the future, the survival of the Jewish
people was once again secured.
Leba is an extremely nurturing individual. She also has a very
high respect for being b’simchah, happy, and I appreciate that because I do feel that life can be fun. Thank you very much, Partners
in Torah!Read more
TEFILLIN IN OHIO
TEFILLIN IN OHIO
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Ilya
Dear Rabbi Gewirtz,
My name is Ilya, and I am a junior at Miami University ofOhio.
For the last week, I have had the immense pleasure of praying with
tefillin every day, something I could never have imagined myself doing
just a year ago.
Thanks to the incredible commitment you and others like you
have made to reach out to the nonobservant Jewish community, I have
come quite a distance in both my understanding and practice of the
commandments of the Torah, although I know I have distance yet to
go. Thank you and all your supporters for helping me afford my first
set of tefillin.
Respectfully,
Ilya Read more
MY ROLE MODEL CHANA RIVKA
MY ROLE MODEL CHANA RIVKA
Orly Shor
I joined Partners in Torah two years ago. In my initial conversation with Partners inTorah, I was very candid in explaining our family
background and history: I told them that my husband was a convert,
I have three kids, we keep Shabbat and kosher, the kids go to Jewish
preschool but I don’t observe the laws of tzniut or cover my hair. I
joined Partners in Torah because I had just had a baby and I couldn’t
push myself to get to shul, so it was hard for me to follow the weekly
parashah. I wanted to cover the parashah in my session with a partner,
as well as learn and expound on other Jewish subjects. But most of
all, I was looking for a role model. My family is living a Jewish life in
a place where there are very few observant Jews (you can count them
on two hands) and I needed inspiration. I was matched with Chana
Rivka — a mother to fourteen kids who had just had a baby herself
and was looking to learn with someone.
To tell you a little bit more about myself: I have a PhD in psychology and I’m working as a change management consultant in IBM. My
job takes me on extensive travel all over the States. I am away from
my home a lot, and often have meetings late into the night. In the
two years that Chana Rivka learned with me, she would call me on
a weekly basis at each hotel that I stayed in, no matter what the time
difference was. (She would even call at midnight her time if need be to
make sure I would not miss a class.) Alone in the hotel, away from my
family, away from anything holy, it was the call I was always waiting
for. A piece of light in the midst of my material life.
During the time Chana Rivka learned with me, our conversation also turned to personal issues — family, marriage, and the home. I
wanted to do more, but didn’t want to have it forced on me. (In my
initial conversation with the organization I mentioned that I would
hang up the phone if someone would pressure me to cover my hair.)
In her gentle way, Chana Rivka kept giving me her guidance and support, and a year ago I began covering my hair and observing the laws
of tzniut. Chana Rivka made sure that we learned thoroughly all the
rules of family purity. I bought a book she recommended and every
class we learned a chapter. I had my fourth child four months ago.
Chana Rivka came to visit me when my baby was a month old. It was
the first time I met her.
There is so much to tell about her. I’ve learned so much from her.
Her support and guidance went ten million years beyond the initial
parashah classes I was looking for. She is such an inspiring, selfless
woman. My role model.Read more
LIVING MY DREAM
LIVING MY DREAM
Moshe T.
My story is not unique, but meaningful to me. Until I was twentyfive, I ledthe life of a traditional, non-Orthodox Jew. You know how
it goes. My family went to “temple” for Rosh HaShanah and fasted on Yom Kippur. We celebrated Chanukah and Passover. Through a series
of events I was led to Partners in Torah, where I was embraced and
helped to find my way in Yiddishkeit and in life.
I was born and raised in the suburbs of New York. My father
was raised in a traditional non-Orthodox home from the Lower East
Side. My mother was a nonaffiliated Catholic. She had no connection
to her religion. My father insisted that he wanted his children to be
“raised” Jewish. I’m not quite sure what he had in mind. Perhaps he
wanted me to have a Jewish identity. But my father knew enough to
be aware that I was born Catholic because Judaism follows the religion
of the mother.
The plot thickens... When I was eight days old I had a bris. The
blue card was signed by a prominent mohel with a note that read,
“With intent to convert.” A year later, after my first birthday, I was
taken to a mikveh, where I was “converted” by three “Orthodox” rabbis. I will return to this process later in my story.
I was privileged to attend Orthodox yeshivahs for almost ten
years. They were smaller coed schools that somehow understood my
background. I was never counted for a minyan or asked to lead the
davening. And I understood that, but on a minimal level. It was very
confusing for me to wear a kippah and tzitzis all day at school only to
throw them off as soon as I got home.
Many of my friends lived in the same town as the yeshivah, but
I had to commute every day. Then when I was ten years old, I got to
spend Shabbos at a friend’s house. The Goldberg family made me feel
right at home. I loved to see the interaction between all of the family
members. I enjoyed listening to divrei Torah. My dream became to one
day move to this same place and raise my own family there.
For high school, I attended a nonsectarian private school. My
connection to Yiddishkeit began to dwindle, yet I maintained my family’s traditional values of not eating pork or seafood and not mixing
meat and milk.
In life we can often look back and pinpoint a small handful of
life-changing events. My college years seemed to have most of them.
I attended a major Catholic university, where I was required to take classes given by clergy. This put my own knowledge about Judaism to
the test. It also brought me closer and sparked the pintele Yid inside. I
knew that I had to learn more. Little by little, I began taking on more
halachos. I began to eat only glatt kosher meat, although I cooked it in
my parents’ nonkosher pots and pans. I bought different sefarim and
Jewish books, but never felt satisfied.
Meanwhile, I interned at a financial services company in Manhattan. I was there several days a week helping stockbrokers. Sam Miller
was the only Orthodox broker in the office. Suddenly, I felt myself
drawn to him and began asking him questions pertaining to Judaism
and Torah on a daily basis. One day Sam asked me if I would be interested in learning with a partner for an hour a week. He told me to
call 1-800-STUDY-42.
This was my introduction to Partners in Torah. The next day I
called. I was given the option to connect with a phone partner (calling
card included) or I could meet with someone in person in the same
town as that of my old yeshivah! I was overjoyed to return to my old
stomping ground, where I had spent my first Shabbos and hung out
with all my friends.
Throughout my years at Partners in Torah, I was teamed up with
several partners, all of whom were special in their own way. David was
one Partner who helped change my life.
Returning to the beginning of my story, when I discussed my bris
and being converted, I told David that I had always doubted as to how
“Orthodox” rabbis could have agreed to convert a baby who was being
raised in the home of a non-Jewish mother and nonobservant father.
David was sensitive and agreed to help me have my documentation
reviewed with Rabbi Gewirtz.
Rabbi Gewirtz reviewed the documents with his colleagues and
confirmed that there was no way to be 100 percent sure this type of
conversion was legitimate and that they had their doubts. In short, if
I wanted to lead a life of being shomer Shabbos and shomer mitzvos, I
would have to convert.
At that point, I had already been keeping Shabbos and kosher for
some time. Rabbi Gewirtz agreed to help me any way he could, and so did David. However, I knew that if I wanted to become Jewish I
needed to leave no stone unturned.
I had several unsuccessful attempts at contacting a local rabbi
whom I was told could help me. Finally, I had a friend of mine who
was related to him call him on my behalf. The rav explained he did not
know me well enough to help me. Immediately, I began searching for
other rabbanim who could help.
My closest friends at Partners in Torah were the only ones who
knew about my struggle. They all helped me in different ways, and
I sure that I’m not even aware of everything that they did on my behalf.
Almost a year later, I ran into Rabbi Gewirtz. I told him that I
had not been successful in finding a rabbi to help with my conversion
process, but I would not stop searching. I also told him that I enjoyed learning an hour a week at Partners in Torah, but my neshamah
yearned for more. I told him about a learning program at nearby yeshivah for baalei teshuvah. Rabbi Gewirtz encouraged me to go there.
That week I met with the rosh yeshivah, Rabbi Cohen, for the
first time. I felt compelled to reveal my situation and told him that I
was very much interested in learning but that I could not be counted
for a minyan or called to the Torah for an aliyah. Rabbi Cohen didn’t
hesitate to offer his help. I was elated; finally somebody would be able
to help me with my conversion process. I immediately started learning
at the yeshivah, and an hour a week of learning turned into an hour a
day. Then three hours a day, then five, until I was learning three sedarim a day. Almost ten hours a day! I loved it, but it was not easy and it
was quite a challenge. Getting up at five a.m. to drive to the yeshivah
for shacharis. Trying to take a nap between sedarim, and then not getting home until ten or eleven p.m. But I realized that I was also lucky,
because my early yeshivah background helped me absorb the various
Talmudic topics that we covered. It gave me a leg up on my learning.
Finally, after six long months, the moment of truth arrived. Rabbi
Cohen called me late one evening to let me know that the next day
I would finally be Jewish. The seventeenth of Tammuz was my new
birthday. That was my first fast as a bona fide Jew. There are not enough trees to print enough paper to fill with the
words of thanks I have to all of my friends and rabbis, especially Rabbi
Gewirtz and Partners in Torah.
Today I am living my dream. I have been married for five years
and live with my own family in the same town where I went to yeshivah.
My children are not only Jewish from birth, but they are also frum
from birth.
Who would have dreamed of that?Read more
SEEKERS NO LONGER
SEEKERS NO LONGER
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David Comins
Dear Rabbi Gewirtz,
I have attended many secular seminars over the years where the
terms “transformational” and“unrecognizable” are used to describe
the experience. I never really believed the hype, but years after beginning at Partners in Torah and subsequently becoming Shabbos observant, my wife and I looked at each other one day and said, “Our life
is truly unrecognizable!”
We had been “seekers” for most of our adult life. We were both
aware of being born Jewish but had extremely limited exposure to Yiddishkeit and were happily unaffiliated. We felt comfortable and pleased
with our circumstances and surroundings, and yet...
At nearly age fifty, my wife had felt the need to attach herself to
a “higher power,” but had no natural path to follow. She made a concerted effort with the help of several friends to investigate the possible
avenues for connecting to a higher power available in the metropolitan
region; interestingly enough, though we visited several exotic houses
of worship, including Christian ones; Orthodox Judaism wasn’t even
on the list!
We accepted an invitation from a friend for a Shabbos service in
1999. It was in an inner-city shul that had seen its heyday probably
seventy-five years ago. The service was held in a dark basement on a
cold February day, there were barely ten men there, we couldn’t sit
together, and the whole thing was in a language we couldn’t read or
understand. When we thanked our host but politely declined a return
visit, she wisely urged us not to stop but to please get in touch with
someone we both knew in Passaic who was skilled in outreach. Just at this time my wife was considering going to a Messianic
Temple in Garfield, New Jersey, hoping to combine the best of Christianity and Judaism. Our new Passaic contact begged her not to go,
describing in a long, impassioned e-mail the Jewish neshamah and how
damaged it would become by being exposed to that other religion. He
said that even though men have an obligation to go to shul, Judaism
really thrives in the home. He invited us to his home for a Passover
Seder.
It was the first time either of us had been to a traditional Seder. I
was touched by the tradition being passed down from the generations,
as the grandparents as well as the host’s adorable eighteen-month-old
son were there. It was on a weekday evening and only after we finished
at two a.m. did we realize why he had asked if we wanted to stay over!
There was something magical about that evening; perhaps it was that
the two of us, coming from small families and having no children of
our own, felt the glowing love of a Jewish family for the first time,
a family who could reach out to strangers and make them feel welcomed.
We asked our host where to go from here. He suggested both a
weekend Gateways seminar and acquiring a chavrusa through Partners
in Torah. We dutifully followed his advice. Actually, my wife, Chaya,
enrolled first, and after a couple of weeks I decided to join, too, so as
not to be left too far behind.
I’m not sure I had ever spoken with an Orthodox man before.
I had a preconception that my chavrusa would be bookish, without
humor or a sense of the world. How wrong I was! I was fortunate
enough to have a chavrusa who seemed to know everyone in town, was
outgoing and funny, and had an incredible family. It took me a while
to wrap my head around the fact that a man who had seven children,
a responsible job, and other learning obligations would willingly give
up an evening each week to tutor a stranger. For free, no less!
The rest of the story can be told rather quickly. My wife and I both
took to our studies eagerly. After a few weeks of learning and being
invited to a few Shabbos meals and melaveh malkahs, we felt like we
were more connected to people in Passaic that we had ever been in our
twenty years in our Montclair, New Jersey, hometown! After less than a year we decided to move to this holy community, and miraculously
bought a wonderful new home and sold our old one very quickly.
When we were chosen to be honored by Partners in Torah as “Partners of the Year” in 2000, my wife had a beautiful idea. Our wedding
twenty-one years prior had not been a Jewish one and, now that we
were moving to the community, it would be special if we could sanctify our marriage with a genuine chuppah ceremony. She reasoned that
at the Partners in Torah’s annual fund-raising breakfast there’d already
be a hall, the crowd, and some food; all we’d need to add would be a
chuppah, the music, and we’d be all set!
Rabbi Gewirtz loved the idea and we’ll never forget how he and
his team transformed the grounds of the Ohel Rivkah school into a
place of holiness and sanctity and allowed us to enter into a true Jewish marriage. Looking back, that was the best day of our lives. We felt
the love of our friends, family, and new neighbors that we’ve grown
close to over the years.
After the year at Partners in Torah, I joined a yeshivah in Passaic,
where I’ve learned regularly ever since. Chaya learns as well, and we
aspire to keep growing and emulating the people at Partners in Torah
and other neighbors, whose highest calling is to do good for others
and share their love of Yiddishkeit.
May the organization continue to grow and thrive for many years
to come!
Best wishes,
David and Chaya Comins Read more
CHANCE OF A LIFETIME
CHANCE OF A LIFETIME
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Sruly Shain
My Partners in Torah story is honestly not much of a story. No
miraculous turnaround ordrastic changes have occurred. No wildly
contrasting before and after pictures have been taken. But this — as
you will see — is exactly my point.
I began learning with my Partner — let’s call him Sam — about a
year ago. Sam was attending college out of town, and has since graduated. His crowd of friends was very diverse. Being the warm person
that he is, Sam was very close with a large assortment of his peers.
Put this popularity together with the fact that Sam had a very minimal Jewish upbringing, and this is what you get: an easily influenced
young man, who sees many different paths of life before him. He has
no reason to feel compelled to pursue a specifically Jewish lifestyle over
any other.
Sam and I studied a book over the past year which explained why
the Jewish way is the best way. But the book was really just a springboard for our very intense discussions on Judaism. As we were about
to complete the book, we had another intense discussion, this time
debating who had gained more out of our partnership over the past
year.
Fast-forward to last week: Sam is now teaching Hebrew classes for
young children. He asked if I could arrange for a local study partner
for him in his area. He has also been dating a fine Jewish girl for the
last few months.
Some people may feel that unless the story ends with “....and now
he’s married, learning in a kollel in Yerushalayim,” it’s not that cool.
The truth is, though, that with the help and guidance of Partners in
Torah, this young man is moving forward to becoming a more affiliated Jew. He is now interested in advancing his Torah knowledge, and
in discovering his Jewish roots. I think that’s fantastic!
Partners in Torah is giving this young man a chance. A chance
which he has been incredibly lucky to get. I know it sounds like a cliché here, but it’s true: This, if anything, is his “chance of a lifetime.”
I am very thankful to be affiliated with this great program. And
you never know... Maybe one day my story will end with “....and now
he’s married, learning in a kollel in Yerushalayim.”Read more
WRESTLING WITH FIRST PRINCIPLES
WRESTLING WITH FIRST PRINCIPLES
Michael V.
Dear Rabbi Gewirtz,
Please accept — and pass on to the donor — my sincere thanks
forthe ability to begin putting on tefillin each day so swiftly and affordably!
I was raised a Reform Jew by dedicated and well-meaning parents
and, although they are committed to Judaism to this day, the circumstances of my upbringing didn’t allow for much in the way of Jewish education. I met a wonderful woman in college and we were married
soon after. We were always devoted to the idea of having a Jewish family, and Heather had a Reform conversion. She is truly a Jewish soul,
and my bashert.
For the next seven years, the best way that I could describe our
Jewish practice is as a nondenominational wrestling with first principles. On the one hand, we imagined that — based on our upbringing or conversion — our Jewish practice was obliged to be within the
boundaries of “liberal Judaism,” and we strove to find more rigorous and “rewarding” ways of practicing in this context. But we were
plagued by the idea that, as Jews, Hashem had commanded us to be
mindful of certain things. And each time we took on a new mitzvah
— or part of a mitzvah — we were stunned by the sense of holiness
growing within our lives. The growing realization was that we didn’t
want to choose practices that were “rewarding,” but rather, that each
time we chose to follow Hashem’s commandments for His sake, the
reward sort of mysteriously took care of itself.
In any case, my wife is at the moment in the final stages of a halachic conversion, and after having been separated for quite a long time
at this point, we are looking forward to a halachic wedding soon!
But back to the tefillin.
It’s truly exciting to me that there are other people out there for
whom the mitzvah of tefillin is so important that someone like me
can telephone and have a pair sent, not in a week, but overnight. I
love to relate this story because it is fun to tell, but also because it’s an
affirmation of the urgency of performing this mitzvah, and of mitzvot
in general. It’s not that the world would have ended if I hadn’t begun
to put on tefillin for an extra week, but that the idea of not waiting
any longer than absolutely necessary to begin doing so is significant,
simply defies reason.
In addition to the fulfillment of the mitzvah, and the feeling that I’m
only beginning to discover its power and mysteries, putting on tefillin
has already begun to unlock the power and mystery of my family’s past.
I am named for my great-grandfather Max (Michoel), who died
only about six weeks before I was born. He was the patriarch of my family, and came to the United States as a child, in 1906. I have seen
photographs of his parents, and he was clearly raised in a religious
family in Ukraine. I know that my grandfather and his siblings were
confirmed in Cleveland’s largest Reform synagogue, and so I had always assumed that the keeping of mitzvot was something that my
family had left on the other side of the ocean.
However, on my next visit to see family after I began wearing tefillin, I was surprised when my grandfather gave me a small cloth bag. Inside I found tefillin belonging to my great-grandfather, my namesake.
Not only did he own a pair (which I had never known), but they
are also clearly worn from years of use. Although the tefillin are not
kosher at present, I look forward to finding a good sofer who can advise
me on whether or not they can be restored. How wonderful would it
be to wear my great-grandfather’s tefillin!
There are many reasons to keep the mitzvot — most of all because
we are commanded to sanctify Hashem’s creation by doing them. But
I am also convinced that sustained observance is the best explanation
for the endurance of the Jewish people throughout the generations,
against all odds.
Please accept my sincere thanks for helping someone of such
modest education and modest means to take on the mitzvah of tefillin
with such ease and alacrity.
Sincerely,
MichaelRead more
DEDICATING AN HOUR
DEDICATING AN HOUR
Sol Handler
Our partnership started in March of 2005, with Henry making
the grand proposal that we studyChumash, Mishnah, and Gemara.
Ever since, we have studied for one hour every Friday morning at six a.m., alternating between Chumash, Mishnah, and Gemara, except
for an occasional week when there was an emergency or one of us was
away on travel.
We are nearing the end of Chumash Bereishis, have finished Mishnayos Avos and are well into Mishnayos Berachos, and are nearing the
end of the first perek of Gemara Bava Metzia. Who was it who said
significant progress can be made from just one hour of study? That
person was right, especially if it is a dedicated hour, each week.
Usually, every Friday morning, my phone call is picked up punctually at six a.m. on the first ring by Henry, who always has a friendly
greeting. One Friday morning, the phone rang a number of times
before it was answered. Henry gave his usual friendly greeting, and the
study session went very well, as usual: focused, concentrated, and with
interesting questions and discussions. It wasn’t until later that day that
I remembered that this was supposed to have been a scheduled day
off, on which I had mistakenly called. But Henry never let on and
the study session had proceeded with its full intensity and embellishments, as if nothing was amiss!
This study journey has been wonderful and is continuing, with
G-d’s help, up the proverbial Jacob’s Ladder, to who-knows-what destination. Thank You, G-d; thank you, Partners in Torah; and thank
you, HenryRead more
THE BEST IS YET TO COME
THE BEST IS YET TO COME
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Rabbi Manes Kogan
Dear Rabbi Gewirtz,
I am writing to thank you and the leadership of Partners in Torah
foryour tireless work in providing Torah learning opportunities for
myself and for thousands of others.
I myself grew up in a nonobservant family which called itself traditional. When I grew up, “traditional” was the term we used to refer
to someone who sat with his family around a Pesach table, who went
to shul for the High Holidays, who fasted on Yom Kippur, and, in
my case and in my brother’s, to someone whose parents sent him to a
Zionist secular school and learned a good deal of Hebrew.
An important part of that tradition was to “have” your bar mitzvah
when you turned thirteen. To that extent, my parents took me to one
of the main Conservative shuls in Buenos Aires, where I was trained
to lead services, to chant the haftarah, to read from the Torah, and to
put on tefillin. My early involvement with the secular youth group associated with my Jewish day school took me to Israel, where I finished
high school, and upon my return to Argentina, I enrolled myself in
the Conservative Seminary in Buenos Aires, one of the two available
non-Orthodox institutions for training Jewish teachers. After three
years of study I entered rabbinical school, and after five more years I
got my rabbinical ordination and became a member of the Rabbinical
Assembly, the rabbinical association for Conservative rabbis. While studying at the Seminario, my level of observance slowly
started increasing, but I always looked at myself as a “searcher,” even
after I had my own congregation, first in Argentina, then in the Dominican Republic, and then in the United States of America, in Roanoke, Virginia.
It was in Roanoke that I first got in touch with Partners in Torah.
I was serving as the rabbi of Beth Israel Synagogue, the Conservative shul in Roanoke, when one of my congregants, Arnold Masinter,
brought to my attention a bookmark of Partners in Torah. I suggested
that he call, and he got matched with his Torah partner. The positive
influence of Partners in Torah on Arnold and on one of his thenemployees, who also joined the program, prompted me to call and
ask for my own Torah Partner. A week later, the rosh kollel of KarlinStolin in Boro Park called me, and since that time, almost eight years
ago, we have been Partners.
My family and I have visited the Machlis family a few times in
the past years and stayed with them for Shabbat, and our daughters
developed a friendship. However, my main gain was in a deep and
sweet (I don’t have better words to describe it) Torah study, which led
me to new levels of Torah observance. Partners in Torah provided me
with the greatest gift of all, the gift of Torah, a gift which broadened
my mind, opened new doors for me, and made me believe that the
best is yet to come.
Partners in Torah did all of the above in a compassionate, yet
professional, nonjudgmental way, reminding me always that we are all
Jews, and that we all have a chelek in Hashem’s Torah.
For all of this, Rabbi Gewirtz, I want to reiterate my personal
sense of gratitude and appreciation to you and to Partners in Torah
for everything you have done and continue to do for me and for many
others like myself.
May you go from strength to strength, and may Hashem crown
your efforts with many blessings!Read more
ETERNAL THANKS
ETERNAL THANKS
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Cm
I can’t thank you enough for what your program has done for me.
I started learningwith my Partner three years ago and, although it
was a very bumpy and emotional ride, this story has a happy ending.
When I started learning with him, I had never heard the word “Shabbos” before in my life, never seen someone wrapping tefillin, nor had
any idea what it was. I had heard the word “kosher” before, but I never
met anyone who kept even the lowest level of kashrus. Three years ago
I was dating a shiksa and I was planning to intermarry as my mother
had.
Fast-forward three years...and I just finished my five-month-long
stay in yeshivah, where I was able to speak to two gedolim about mys-tical issues. You have done a tremendous honor in restoring the Yiddishkeit that was lost in my family for many years. According to the
gedolim I met, I’m descended from some of the greatest tzaddikim
throughout Jewish history. Years ago my illustrious rabbinical family
was removed from their greatness, but you have done a tremendous
honor in bringing their descendant back into Torah society.
No matter how great my ancestors were, they needed a vessel to
bring my family back to Torah and mitzvos. My Partner’s kiruv abilities were amazing, and without his coaching I don’t think I would
have made it to yeshivah.
Through a series of miracles, my sister, who was almost engaged
to a gentile, was able to get on the derech, too, and now she is engaged
to a Jew.
May my story be a source of strength for your institution, and
may the merit of my ancestors provide you with many blessings.
Thank you and keep up the great work!
Read more
LETTING IT RIPPLE OUTWARD
LETTING IT RIPPLE OUTWARD
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Eric Schwartz
Hi! We haven’t missed a single week since I’ve reported last. We
are learning the secondvolume of Strive for Truth! by Rav Dessler;
Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, and Loving Kindness adapted from the Chafetz
Chaim. We learn some from each at most sessions. I am still so blessed
to be able to learn with Sol, and he says the same. I know he’s not be-ing patronizing, since we are learning mussar (a joke!).
My wife and seventeen-year-old son are going to Israel next month
at the request of my son before he goes away for four years in the U.S.
Army. My wife is a Messianic Jew and has been a strong influence in
my son’s religious views. I have tried to learn with him consistently
over the years, but he is often reluctant. I am sure his connection to
Yiddishkeit is in no small way due to Partners in Torah. I could have
nagged and bribed and used the often-tried methods of influence that
failed for people like myself. But I believe the sight of me running to
the phone on the night I learn and my enthusiastic involvement did
strong kiruv here, unbeknownst to anyone. No one in the family has
said anything, but in thinking about it now, I can see the ripple effect
of Torah that we all hope to witness.
I have to run, it’s Shabbos tonight and I alone in my home am
shomer Shabbos (as best I can). Soon, b’ezras Hashem, that will ripple
too.
Kol tuv,
Eric
Read more
EXPLAINING THE WORLD TO MY CHILDREN
EXPLAINING THE WORLD TO MY CHILDREN
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David Magerman
I want to tell you how Partners in Torah has impacted my life.
I began thisjourney as a nonobservant Conservative Jew. I grew
up with the typical Conservative Jewish education. I had a bar mitzvah
celebration, but after that, I became one of the many High Holiday–
Passover Jews. Once I left for college, you could no longer even say
that. My connection to Judaism was in name only.
My father died while I was in college. While I mourned him in
the human sense of the word, I had no idea what my obligations as a
son mourning his father were from a Jewish perspective. I knew what
Kaddish was, but it didn’t mean anything to me.
When I got married, my connection to Judaism grew, but only
a little. My wife came from a kosher home, and so we kept a kosher
home. My wife’s family celebrated all of the Jewish holidays, so we
attended those celebrations. But that was the extent of Jewish observance. And, in any case, it was largely uninformed. I went along with
it because that was my obligation as a husband. It didn’t go any further
than that.
When I had my first child, and he began to walk and talk, I realized that someday he was going to ask me questions that I could not
answer. He was going to want to know what the meaning of life was
and what the meaning of death was, and he was going to look to me
for guidance about how to live his life. All I knew was a form of secular humanism, and I seemed inadequate to the task. I didn’t believe in
anything in particular, and I was worried that I wasn’t going to be up
to the task of explaining the world to my children.
Everything began to change when we went on a family trip to
Israel to visit my Torah-observant cousin’s family for his oldest son’s
bar mitzvah. It was my first time back to Israel since I was a teenager, and I had a strong reaction to the whole experience: being in
Israel, being with my cousin’s family, and being among a community
of Torah-observant people. I had a strong feeling of belonging, but
without any knowledge or understanding to back it up. Knowing that my ignorance kept me from belonging made me very sad, and a friend
of my cousin suggested that, if I wanted to start learning, there was an
organization called Partners in Torah that could help.
When I returned to the States, I made a few radical changes in my
life. I started attending morning minyans at my local Conservative
shul. I started attended services on Saturday mornings. And I called
up Partners in Torah and enrolled in the TelePartners program.
I began learning with my chavruta, Daniel Altman, only a few
weeks after I returned from Israel. We talked about what I wanted
to study. I am an obligation-oriented person, always have been. So,
I decided I wanted to know the rules. We settled on studying Kitzur
Shulchan Aruch. We started from the beginning, but as every holiday, major or minor, approached, we jumped forward to the laws of
that holiday. It was exactly the kind of program I needed to give me
a sense of what daily life in an observant home would be like.
My learning with Daniel was probably very similar to the way
other TelePartners’ chavruta situations developed. We learned every
week. If I had a scheduling conflict, Daniel always tried to accommodate my schedule. Once in a blue moon, he’d ask me to reciprocate. But generally, it was like clockwork, every Thursday from three
to four p.m., I’d close my door at my office and learn Torah law.
Let me describe the impact learning with Partners in Torah has
had on my life today. I have slowly begun to take on the obligations of
a Torah-observant Jew. I have taken on the obligation of saying the Shema twice a day. I start every day by putting on tefillin and reciting the
Birchot HaShachar, saying the Shema and the Shemoneh Esrei. I end
every day saying the Shema and the Shemoneh Esrei. I wear tzitzit every
day. I don’t eat nonkosher meat, even out of the house. I learn Torah
with four different chavrutas, including one from Partners in Torah
and others from my community. I have begun attending services at
a local Orthodox shul. More important, I have committed myself to
living my life by Torah law.
I don’t know all of the laws, and maybe I never will. But I understand that my life is governed by Torah law, and I make an effort to
make decisions in my daily life based on that law. These are all of the steps I have taken in my daily life to begin to
satisfy my obligations as a Torah-observant Jew. It is no longer a question of whether I am a Conservative Jew or an Orthodox Jew. I now
know that I am a Jew who was born with the obligation to know and
believe the Torah is true and with the obligation to observe all of the
613 mitzvot. That I am not observing them all as of yet just makes me
human. Through my learning process, which started with Daniel Altman and will continue for the rest of my life, I will strive to add more
observances. I may never get to 613, and I may never understand all
of their intricacies of observance, but I understand that it is my obligation to observe all of them.
Partners in Torah and Jewish learning have transformed my view
of my relationship to Hashem, to the world, to my community, and to
my family. It has made me aware of the impact that a lack of a Torah
education has had on my life. Having three children has made me
keenly aware of my obligation to pass on the lessons I have learned to
my children before they are too old to easily adapt to a life of observant Judaism.
The combination of these lessons has compelled me to take up
the cause of promoting Jewish education. I have become a supporter
of and active consultant to the Partners in Torah program, using my
business experience and professional skills to help the organization
run more efficiently and effectively. I have started my own charitable
foundation, the Kohelet Foundation, whose mission is to increase
enrollment in day school education by improving the business models of the schools. I have been devoting my time, on nearly a fulltime basis, to carrying out the mission of my foundation and making
sure that as many kids as possible learn Torah Judaism when they
should, as children, so they don’t have to spend their adult years playing catch-up.
I am enormously indebted to Daniel Altman, Rabbi Gewirtz, and
the Partners in Torah organization for bringing me to this level of
understanding of my purpose in life, for making me aware of the obligations that I have that I never knew about, and for giving me the
awareness to raise my children in an atmosphere of Torah observance
so that I will fulfill what I consider to be my most important mission as a Jewish father: V’shinantam levanecha, to teach my children the
words that Hashem has commanded us.
With the utmost respect, gratitude, and love,
David MagermanRead more
WON’T LET HIM STOP TEACHING
WON’T LET HIM STOP TEACHING
Jonathan Porges
I started doing the over-the-phone Judaism lessons about two
weeks ago. My tutor and I havebeen going over history, starting with
Genesis. I’m still not a religious zealot, but I’ve been enjoying the lessons. The guy you set me up with has been having trouble getting off
the phone with me, because I won’t let him stop the lessons. He’s been
telling me a lot of interesting things that I didn’t know about Judaism.
He hasn’t focused mainly on the religion, but instead on the history,
the varied interpretations of the Torah, metaphysical, spiritual, and
esoteric knowledge. I’m actually cutting short a trip to Mexico for a
scuba dive next weekend so that I won’t miss the week’s lesson.
Thanks!Read more
TRULY AMAZING
TRULY AMAZING
Brent Sims
This morning I did the entire shacharis in Hebrew. I studied the
applicable Torah portion afterwards.Tonight we’ll have homemade
challah at our Shabbos eve meal (kosher, of course). Tomorrow I’ll
daven, study a chapter of Pirkei Avos, and probably study some Rashi,
too. I’m current on my Omer count.
While it was Rabbi Yossie, my first Torah Partner, and Israel Zwick,
my second Torah Partner, who have led me to this point, Partners in
Torah made it all possible.
I can’t thank you enough. This has been a truly amazing experience.
Good Shabbos,
BrentRead more
SERVICING THE WORLD
SERVICING THE WORLD
Jessica Erlbaum
Each week when I light my Shabbos candles, I thank Hashem for
bringing me to thetime in my life where I observe Shabbos, and for
the people and programs that brought me to this point. As I’m saying
these tefillos, I picture Partners in Torah front and center as my guide.
My time as a student with Partners in Torah was the perfect first
step for my formal adult Jewish learning. The one-on-one learning was
exactly what I needed, providing me with classes tailored to my own
needs and interests on terms that I was comfortable with.
When I started Partners in Torah, I was a twenty-year-old working in the Jewish community with the intention of going to Reform
rabbinical school. Though I was committed to the Jewish community
and to being a Jewish leader, I had limited background in Jewish education and ritual observance. While I was not looking to take on any
more observance, I decided to attend Partners in Torah with the objective of learning from an authentic Jewish perspective which would
help me in my future endeavors.
The personal connection I made with my chavrusa was so important to my own development, since I gained not only a teacher, but a
friend and a role model. My learning answered questions that I didn’t
even know I had and gave me knowledge that I hadn’t known I lacked.
The more I learned of the emes of Torah and the more I was exposed
to the unbelievable community of Torah-observant Jews, the clearer it
became to me that I was now on a path toward a life of greater purpose
and refined knowledge. This path eventually led me to learn in Israel
and to ultimately become shomeres mitzvos.
Partners in Torah is truly the remedy for a world lacking in kindness, wisdom, good character, personal development, and truth. The
selfless service to the Jewish people which I witnessed on both personal and professional levels is unprecedented. My family and I are
eternally grateful.Read more
LEARNING AT LAST
LEARNING AT LAST
Michael (chaim Dovid) O Keefe
I’m a numbers person, but I will do my best to write my story on
mymobile phone while I’m between things. Nothing magical about
my story, just good traditional teaching of my once-lost heritage.
Yacov Miller and his beautiful family reached out to me and invited me to learn what I knew next to nothing about. The value of these
teachings is instrumental and sweet. The truth is that a beautiful thing
happened in my life when I became connected to Yacov. Partners in Torah brought tefillin, mezuzahs, tzitzis, skullcaps, Jewish calendars,
Jewish holidays, menorahs, the Sabbath, and most of all the Torah
into my house. I am learning. About Judaism.
Thank you to all who participate. See ya in Monsey for Passover,
G-d willing.
Sincerely,
Chaim Dovid Read more
YANKEE HOSPITALITY
YANKEE HOSPITALITY
Bob Sterling
All of my life I have been haunted by the question: What is this
life about,anyway?
Well, now that I had my Brooklyn Shabbos experience, my question has finally been answered. You and your community showed me
by example what this life is all about. I have never seen such warmth
and love within a family and extended community.
On a personal note, I just walked into my townhouse, and I am
smiling from ear to ear at my great personal accomplishment in pushing
my way through the fear of doing something new and different. I am
ecstatic and grateful to you for allowing me to have this experience.
I don’t know where the expression “Southern hospitality” came
from, but after meeting you I need to coin a new expression, called
“Yankee hospitality.”
It is too soon to tell, but I know that this weekend will have a
strong and positive impact on whatever time I have left in this world.
Again, I am very grateful to you and your family.
With warmth,
BobRead more
MY APPETITE'S GROWING
MY APPETITE'S GROWING
Pictures
Alan Morinis
ears now. We’ve worked our way through several volumes of Talmud, having just finished MasechesMegillah, and now we’re on
Taanis.
When I started this learning, I really didn’t have much in hand in
the way of learning skills, nor even a clear idea how to learn, or even
really why to learn. Because of developing a personal relationship with
my well-skilled, experienced, and patient Partner through Partners in
Torah, the doors of learning have opened wide for me. I still struggle
with some of the learning skills, but I am supported every step of
the way, and that has resulted in much learning and a real appetite
for more. I see how I am growing and changing in my everyday life
because of my learning relationship, and it would not have happened
without Partners in Torah.
Todah rabbah,
AlanRead more
MY FIBER-OPTIC SCHOLAR
MY FIBER-OPTIC SCHOLAR
Mark Ahdoot
Over three years ago when I signed up with Partners in Torah,
Rabbi Benjamin Zeilingold calledme for our introductory chat. He
knew from my application that I worked for NASA and he seemed
pleased to have a Partner in Torah student from Iran who was an aerospace engineer.
From Rabbi Ben’s voice and slight British accent I pictured him as an intellectual professor. I began studying with him and I was amazed
by how intelligent and sophisticated he was. After a while, he invited
my wife and me to his son’s wedding, which would be held near my
home in the Baltimore area. I was very anxious to meet him and his
family.
When we arrived at the wedding, I kept inquiring as to Rabbi
Ben’s whereabouts, and finally I found him. I guessed correctly about
his being a university professor, but was taken aback by the holiness of
his glowing features. I felt even more blessed, then, to know him and
very privileged to learn from such an educated scholar. His in-depth
knowledge continues to amaze me.
From time to time, we engage in intellectual discussions such
as about new discoveries in space technology or interesting points
in Torah. For example, I learned about Noah and the mishap with
his grandson, which I had never known about, and then I learned
the philosophy behind wearing tzitzit and why this is one of the
mitzvot.
On many occasions, he answered questions I’ve had since childhood. Last week he explained something that had been lingering in
my mind for over thirty-six years. When I got married in 1972, right
after the chuppah our rabbi told my bride and me to go into a room,
close the door, and stay there together for seven minutes. My wife and
I did not quite understand the meaning of this. We wanted to go and
mingle with our guests. We’d always wondered about it. When I asked
Rabbi Ben, he explained that this was the time for reflection, time to
grasp the sanctity of the momentous event that had just taken place.
He even explained what the reason could be for being in the room for
seven minutes!
Over a year ago, I introduced my brother, who is a gynecologist,
to the Partners in Torah program. Since joining, he was motivated to
become a mohel and has by this point performed over forty circumcisions. It looks like Partners in Torah can touch everyone.Read more
MOTHER OF A RABBI
MOTHER OF A RABBI
Frayda Glass
Yes, I am a rabbi’s mother. But I never had a bat mitzvah and
I receivedvery little training in the Hebrew language, Torah study,
the prayers, the ethical teachings, and on and on. I am so proud of
my son and all that he has become in our Jewish community, but I
am frequently embarrassed at my own lack of education during our
services.
My mentor, Cheryl Jacobson, has been a perfect partner for me.
For the first three consecutive years of our work together we read each
of the parashiyot via three different editions of the Chumash, and she
helped me complete my introductory work in Hebrew. We are currently studying and translating from The Path of the Just and the book
of Joshua, while at the same time continuing my Hebrew studies using Ha-Yesod. I cannot tell you how many times she has kept me from
throwing up my hands and saying I was giving up on learning Hebrew
because I was just too old. More importantly, she has always kept me
on track while making me laugh.
I am so grateful for my wonderful teacher and for all that I have
learned being her Partner in Torah. Next year, we will study the siddur, and soon when my son looks down from the bimah, his mother
will be fully taking part in the prayers. Thank you so much!Read more
THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM TO LEARN
THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM TO LEARN
Ruth Schepartz
After my bat mitzvah, I pretty much dropped out of the Jewish
scene except for attendingsynagogue on the High Holidays with my
parents. In the last few months I’ve found that my interest in Jewish studies has increased. Actually, it went from being nonexistent to
quite enthusiastic. I went searching for a forum but really didn’t know
where to go until I expressed my interest to a friend, who suggested
Partners in Torah.
I called the coordinator of the Partners in Torah program near me,
Dena Mayerfeld — a delightful person who welcomed me with open
arms. After walking into my first Partners in Torah session in Passaic,
I was greeted by a man with the widest smile I’ve ever seen, Rabbi Eli
Gewirtz (Eli to everyone he meets).
The next step was for Dena to find a partner well suited to me.
That’s when I met Debbie. Wow. She is so wonderful. The mother of
six kids, one a newborn, she still makes time to come and work with
me once a week. She is truly a dynamo. My biggest problem is decid-ing what to study. She seems to be so well versed in so many fields, I
didn’t know where to start. Right now the Hebrew language seems to
be in the forefront.
Learning with a tutor is an incredible opportunity. But the other
thing that totally blows me away is that any question I have about Judaism, she’s right there to answer — and trust me, I keep her hopping
with all of my questions. After every session, they end the evening
with an interesting discussion on the Torah portion for that coming
week. When I don’t get it, I have no qualms about going right to Debbie, Dena, the speaker, or even Eli and saying, “Excuse me, but what
was all that about?” They usually laugh and then sit down to explain
it to me thoroughly.
You know, after all is said and done, no matter what I choose to
study, the most important thing I’ve learned is that we may be different, but that’s okay. There’s always room to learn. And what could be
more important than learning about Judaism? It gives you the opportunity to fill your mind with knowledge and your heart with wonderful people. Who could ask for anything more?Read more
A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN
Diane Torgersen
Tobie and I have “been together” via Partners in Torah for almost
five years. She hasbeen unbelievably committed to our relationship
and my biggest supporter in learning about Judaism.
I discovered that both my parents were Jews when I was in my
sixties. I have had the wonderful good fortune to have found a rabbi
who has been totally supportive of me, teaching me and helping me
feel accepted into my local Jewish community. I applied for membership in Partners in Torah, and this has been the perfect combination
to speed my education along. I have said many times that I have had
“many Jewish mothers.”
Tobie and I have studied many things together, including the
weekly parashah, and are now studying Pirkei Avos together. She has
been generous in teaching me about the holidays with stories and examples from her own family. She sent me an excellent Hebrew letters
booklet when I was struggling to learn Hebrew. She, her daughters,
and even her kind husband listened to me stumble through the letters as I tried to read and say them. Thanks to all of them and my rabbi, I
can now read most Hebrew.
Tobie has become a wonderful friend and Jewish sister to me. She
has shared her life, her family, and her stories with me. It has been an
exquisite pleasure to have learned about her life and to have gained
her help in understanding Judaism and in understanding my own
parents, who had hidden their lives for so many years. I have said so
many times that our relationship has been a match surely made in
heaven!
I thank Partners in Torah for their organization, which can make
such a tremendous difference in a person’s life.
With sincere thanks,
DianeRead more
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Rob G.
Hooray! My apartment is kashered (98 percent anyway)!
All the mezuzahs are up on my doors(all three) with kosher scrolls,
the lights all have timers, and I even bought a “kosher lamp.”
As for driving on Shabbos and using the elevator on Shabbos (I
currently live on the twelfth floor), I’m still working on these. It’s okay,
I need the exercise.
I hope that I’ve covered all of my bases, but for now, I can relax.
Yippee!
Just thought you’d like to know in case you’d like to visit sometime. Please know that you’re always welcome.
Good Shabbos!Read more
PROGRESSING
PROGRESSING
Joseph Goldenson
A year ago I didn’t know the alef-bet. I kvell to myself because I
can actuallyread now, not too fast, but when I get going, I can really
cover ground! I really look forward to learning each week. David has
given me so much insight and knowledge, and he treats me like a
mensch instead of like some heathen. Partners in Torah is a wonderful
opportunity to become somewhat informed, and this program whet
my whistle to strive to take more classes.
I learn from my kids, who are part of Partners in Torah, and they
learn from me. My daughters live a Torah life, and I am very proud of
them. I emulate them in my own way. Now that I know how to put
on tefillin and a tallit, my kids gave me a gorgeous bag, red with a lion
on it, embroidered with my Hebrew name, Yosef ben David.Read more
OUR SON’S PARTNER
OUR SON’S PARTNER
Pictures
Laurie Young
Rabbi Gewirtz,
I cannot tell you how happy our family is with our thirteen-yearold son’s learningpartner, Moshe Kaff.
Not only has Avraham enjoyed learning these past few months
over the phone from our home in Mercer Island, Washington, to
Lakewood, New Jersey, but Avraham even stayed at Moshe’s house on
his way to summer camp last month. Moshe insisted on hosting Avraham and showing him around Lakewood, a big treat for Avraham.
Recently, I asked Moshe if he would try learning mishnayos with
our eight-year-old. He agreed to give it a test run. Now Asher, too, has
been trying to learn as many days as possible with Moshe. He enjoys
it that much.
Many, many thanks for your program.Read more
Two Perfect Partners
Two Perfect Partners
Pictures
Celia Minkin
I was lucky enough to be teamed up with the perfect partner, Joanne. Herbackground in Judaism was extremely limited. She was married to someone who wasn't Jewish and who, along with their daughter, was a practicing Catholic. She struggled with how a loving G-d could have allowed the Holocaust, a subject we discussed repeatedly. We learned several sefarim and she asked piercing questions. She was so open to learning about Judaism, despite a lifestyle that could have caused her to be defensive. Her pintele Yid and Yiddishe neshama were always evident, as I regularly pointed out to her. We laughed together frequently and heartily.
Imagine my surprise, when she eventually casually dropped the information that her husband's parents were Jews!
After over 3 years of a beautiful and rewarding friendship with Joanne, she became ill and passed away. This was very shortly after Oct 7, 2023. Her daughter found my email and very considerately wrote me the following:
"Hi Celia,
I am Joanne’s daughter and I am writing to you to inform you of her passing. She cherished the relationship the two of you built, and you were one of the only people she contacted in her final days. She kept up to date on the current situation in Israel and you and your safety were in her thoughts. Be safe and be well. "
Joanne frequently expressed concern regarding the end of life, as she was not young. A few months after her passing, I was taken aback when I found the final passage we had learned together, marked by a bookmark, in Gateway to Happiness. "The most feared event in a person's life is death. But we have the ability to transform our death into the greatest act we will perform in our entire life. We can perceive death as our total submission to the will of the Almighty and find tremendous spiritual elevation. (Alai Shur). "
When I informed Partners in Torah of the passing of my beloved partner, Joanne. I told Sharona "I don't know how I will ever again find such a perfect partner for me. I'll contact you again soon about obtaining a new partner."
It seems that HaShem Himself partnered with Partners in Torah to find me yet again, the nearly impossible: a thoroughly delightful well-matched partner! Lee Schwimmer and I have developed a beautiful friendship over the past year. She is dedicated to learning and growing. She's smart and fun and we just have a wonderful time together while we learn. She teases me that I am constantly saying "that's a good question".
Lee and her husband Dan, a tireless warrior for Israel, came to Israel this past summer for a lengthy visit in order to volunteer their time. My husband Pesach and I were lucky enough to meet Lee and Dan in Jerusalem, and I think this picture speaks a thousand words.
The first image is Joanne, ע''הRead more
We just clicked
We just clicked
Linda Baronkatz
Over the past year, Beth and I have studied and learned a lot of Torahfrom one another. While I had other partners, none except Beth could use zoom. The moment we met on zoom we clicked. Beth was more into reading books that had to do with Torah and Shabbat. The books I liked to read had to do with growth, character, bitachon, emunah. We started to combine the books together and there was a lot that had to do with each of them. Beth especially showed me and read books on the Yomim Tovim by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks. He turned out to be very good and interesting. I introduced her to a book It's All In Your Mind by Sara Yosef. Beth and I hope to get together one day. We have talked about meeting in Kew Garden Hills. I hope we can continue to learn with one another. Thanks Partners in Torah for putting us together.Read more
She never gave up on me
She never gave up on me
Galya.S
I am BT and realized shortly after sending all my children to Jewish day schoolsthat I was woefully uneducated. No one had ever taught me how to daven, the order, the special add-ins or the explanations of certain prayers. As hard as I tried, I could not find anyone willing to go back to 1st grade with me so to speak. I davened for 2 years before an email from Partners in Torah appeared in my inbox. I immediately filled out the form, and excitedly waited to be partnered with a chavrusa. However, the blessing came with a challenge: I live in America and my chavrusa lives in Australia. KH we both have a household to run and a gaggle of kids between us. After emailing for a few weeks we found a time that could work for the both of us. But after a month we still couldn't adjust to the time difference and make things work. Then there was winter break, Chanukah, Shavous, summer vacation. And before we knew it, nearly half a year had passed! I was so sad. Did Hashem really send me a chavrusa just to take her away? But no, my wonderful chavrusa never gave up on me. Finally, after nearly a year, we had our first session. I am so grateful to Breindy for never giving up on me, for patiently listening to me mispronounce words and learn Rashis for the first time. I also want to express hakaros hatov to Partners in Torah for bringing us together!Read more
Unexpected News
Unexpected News
Quenton Little
When I had to fly home to see my dying great grandmother, who I amvery close to and is a huge part of my life even today, in May of 2018, I had no idea that she would tell her whole family that she was in actuality a Ukrainian Jew who left Ukraine in 1936. She had kept her heritage a secret from all of us, because life was easier for non-Jewish people.
In Ukraine, she and her sister had changed their names, adopted Christian faith practices in the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church, had a priest in their hometown of Berezhany forge church documents for them, and then had departed for Canada.
She came from a large Jewish family of 110 people: parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents and many cousins. They all perished in the Holocaust leaving her and her sister as the only survivors.
I am an ordained priest in the Anglican Church of Canada, and I am currently serving as a military chaplain in the Canadian Armed Forces. With this new knowledge of our family and realizing that I am Jewish on my mother’s side, I began to process and wonder what this might mean for me. I am very fortunate that my wife and our two children, ages 4 and 1, have been so supportive of this newfound information.
As March of 2020 came with the beginning of a massive world shut down, an advertisement for Partners in Torah popped up on my Facebook page. So, naturally out of curiosity I explored the program online and applied for a partner. I was sent several options, and my partner, Ely, happened to be around my age, married with four kids, living in Brooklyn NY. Once we connected, it was as if we had been friends our entire lives. We joke that we are probably brothers who were separated at birth. Our newfound brotherhood has emerged in amazing conversations about Jewish faith, family life, studying Torah together, and how these many facets come together to make this amazingly rich life that Jewish culture is based on.
One Chanukah was particularly meaningful, thanks to my partner. That year, we did not celebrate Advent like we had in the past leading up to Christmas, but instead, we celebrated our very first Hannukah with this phenomenal Hannukah care package that my partner and his family sent us. We had a menorah, dreidels, and lovely gifts that we all used. Included was a Jewish cookbook that we made good use of over the holidays. We sent a Canadian themed Hannukah care package that included kippahs with a maple leaf on the top (I had one made for myself too), maple leaf cookies, and maple leaf earrings for my partner's wife and two daughters.
I never had any inclination that Partners in Torah, along with my partner, would have such a profound impact on my life. Am I being educated on and embracing my newfound Jewish heritage and faith more? Definitely! And my partner has provided this positive welcoming environment for me to do so. I will always sing the praises of Partners in Torah; I recommend it to others any chance I get. I can’t express how grateful I am to gain such an amazing, friend, brother and educator as my partner.Read more
Healing the Soul
Healing the Soul
Tziporah.J
“Mom, why don’t you try Partners in Torah? They’ll match you with someone for one-on-onementoring in learning Judaism, at your beginner level,” suggested my daughter Yael in March 2020. When Partners in Torah connected with me, I was newly diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. The average length of survival was three years…
“I feel this is a wake-up call to shift my negative attitudes and behaviors,” I told my partner, Esther. “Everything in life is a gift, a chance for growth. The Torah studies will help you in every area of life,” she replied.
I had little energy to study. So Esther gave me a simple first assignment: say the prayer “Asher Yatzer,” each time after I used the toilet. “Thank you, G-d, there are no blockages or ruptures in any of my organs of excretion. Blessed are you, who heals all flesh wondrously.” Since the chemo caused frequent use of the toilet, I was saying this prayer six or more times a day. It reduced my terror to be reminded that G-d was in charge, not cancer, and that much of my body was still working well.
After a month, Esther suggested: “Can you try saying Modeh Ani, the prayer upon arising? And Shema, the prayer before we go to bed...” Esther explained the point of our many prayers was to keep ourselves in a state of gratitude and to always remember everything comes from G-d. We’d done this at the Veterans’ Hospital, where I’d worked with brain injury patients. Having them count all they were grateful for was the best way to help their injured brains shift out of anger or fear. Now Esther was helping me do that in the face of my own challenge.
Twice a week, we discussed the lessons contained in that week’s Torah portion, and then we moved to other books on proper speech as well as podcasts. I truly felt that I was growing. While my greatest fear had been spending the short time I had left in pandemic isolation, I began to view the combination of a pandemic and cancer as the crucible I needed to devote myself to learning about the precious gift of my birthright.
“Mom, you sound like a different person!” said Yael over the phone from her college dorm. I’d made more personal progress in six months with Esther, than in a lifetime of attempts at self-improvement. Each day I took care of my body–chemo, healthy food, acupuncture, vitamins–but the center of my life was getting closer to G-d through study, prayer and mitzvot.
As my soul expanded, my body did its own healing. Cancer retreated, the blood markers returning to normal. “This is wonderful!” said my doctor, “Let’s hope you can live a normal lifespan." But I was no longer as focused on the length of my life as much as its quality. Thanks to studying with Esther, I understood a good life was always long enough.Read more
So grateful we didn't reschedule
So grateful we didn't reschedule
Elizabeth.S
This week I found myself sobbing on the phone to a woman I barely knew.Oh, and did I mention that she was crying too? Wait, let me back up the story and start from the beginning. But you might want to hold onto your socks.
I always feel better when I’m investing in my spiritual growth, but for the past several years, that’s taken a backseat to motherhood, work, and the chaos of life. On most days, I barely find time to take a shower, let alone open an inspiring book.
But my life was about to change when I received an email asking me to participate in an “Influencers Virtual Challah Bake” with Partners In Torah. I felt it would be a very uplifting evening in these uncertain times. It was an opportunity to give my Instagram followers a chance to join together with hundreds of women around the world as a community for collective inspiration. To my surprise, I was so moved by the event that I took the plunge and signed up for the three week Shabbos learning program. This gave me the privilege to learn weekly with Partners in Torah’s Senior Educator, Adina Stilerman.
Adina and I are very different women on the surface, with different backgrounds, different levels of religious observance, and very different interests. However, from our first call, Adina and I realized how much more in common we had beneath our outer shells. We are both working mamas with strong Jewish values and an incredibly passionate (sometimes maybe a little too passionate) approach to life. But, I had no idea that I was about to discover that we also shared a secret about a tiny corner of the earth—a place that changed us both forever….
When Adina called me for our second learning session, I was in the middle of a death-defying balancing act, with my right hand comforting my screaming 6-week-old baby, and my left hand scrambling to prepare his bottle, all whilst calling (read: shouting) instructions into the next room to my panicking 8-year-old daughter on how to get back onto her Zoom class.
Are you picturing the mayhem?
When I heard the phone ring, I thought to myself, “Oh no, that must be Adina! Not now! I don’t have time to study Torah right now! Why did I even sign up for this??” I ran and picked up the phone just before it went to voicemail, so I could tell her we needed to reschedule—not that there’s ever a better time with my current juggling act.
Adina immediately sensed my frantic energy and said, “Elizabeth, is everything okay?” I started to list off my endless parade of stressors and was about to propose a reschedule when she asked me if she could tell me a story. “Um, sure,” I blurted out, figuring I could put her on speakerphone as I fed the baby and I would do my best to pay attention.
Now, this is the part of the story that makes me so grateful that I didn’t reschedule on that day.
She opened up to me, relating that when she found out that she was expecting her fifth child, she was still grieving the recent loss of her mother. At that moment in time, she couldn’t imagine being responsible for another baby. In addition, the news came just before she was scheduled to lead a Holocaust education trip to Poland. She just didn’t know how she would hold it together.
For the first few days in Poland, she maintained a strong facade for the benefit of the group, but inside, she was miserable and feeling sorry for herself. Physically, she struggled with the long bus rides, and emotionally she was somewhat dispirited about the baby within. All she wanted was to go home.
One morning, the tour guide came up to her on the bus and informed her that he had just added in a last-minute stop on their itinerary and asked her if she could speak there: The Children’s Forest in Zbylitowska Góra. Adina had been to Poland several times already but she had never visited that site. In fact, she was slightly annoyed that he had added it in without first getting her approval. Well, too late now! They were going to be there in 5 minutes, so she quickly Googled the place to help her prepare something to say. When the Wikipedia page popped up, her eyes skimmed the words and her heart stopped… What she read can only be described as a horror of the unimaginable kind. It was a heart-wrenching account of the massacre of innocent, helpless children. She read the date…June 11, 1942… the number 800 popped out at her….Jewish little children from an orphanage…marched from the nearby Tarnow ghetto…thrown in a pit…the German’s opened fired…tossed hand grenades… until the last screams were silenced…she closed the screen.
She couldn’t read anymore.
Adina got off the bus and walked slowly through the forest, well behind the group, toward the mass grave.
Her heart was still racing but now her mind was running its own marathon. She thought about her four little ones at home, and of course the one on the way that she just didn’t have the perspective to appreciate…until now. By the time she reached the clearing, she was so overcome with emotion, she couldn’t even open her mouth to speak. She just wept. The group wept along with her.
As she breathed in the air where these 800 pure young souls took their last breaths on earth, her mindset shifted completely. She was overwhelmed by an enormous surge of gratitude and purpose. She thought about the mothers of those children who would’ve given anything to save their precious babies, and her entire outlook on her impending blessing changed. The worry and anxiety she once felt no longer carried the same weight. She vowed to never forget to appreciate the gift she was granted – to be a mother.
She turned upwards and with tears streaming down her face and overwhelming gratitude in her heart whispered, “G-d, thank you for giving me the privilege to bring another pure soul into the world.”
Months later, G-d gifted Adina with a beautiful baby girl. That child carries her mother’s name and turned out to be the biggest comfort for her loss…”
She stopped talking for a minute.
“Elizabeth?”
I couldn’t speak.
“Elizabeth, are you there?”As Adina told me her story, a chill ran up my spine and I began to break down in tears. I could not believe what I was hearing. You see, I had had my own pivotal moment in that exact same place halfway across the world, deep within the Polish forest of Zbylitowska Góra!!
“Adina, you’re not going to believe this.”
I took her back to May of 2018, when I went to Poland on a whim. It had been a longtime dream of mine to take this intense journey, but like Adina, the timing was anything but logical. I had just suffered a second ectopic pregnancy and was recovering from emergency surgery to remove my ruptured fallopian tube. I was a bit of a mess both physically and emotionally. I remember feeling fear as the question of having children in the future hung in the air. And of course, there was anger towards G-d for putting me through this.
My brother-in-law called me: “Lizzy, I just found this trip to Poland over Memorial Day weekend. We should sign up!” I told him I could absolutely not do that right now considering my emotional state, my two young daughters, and my husband’s insane work schedule. Mostly, I felt fragile and was experiencing situational depression. I could only imagine that a week of Holocaust history would pull me even further down my spiral of negativity. But after I hung up with him, the thought of going kept tugging at my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, nor talking about it for that matter! Finally, my husband Ira said to me, “Just go on the dang trip!! We’ll figure out how to handle everything here!” I booked it immediately before I lost the courage, and I don’t think I slept a peaceful night until the day we left. I was so unbelievably nervous!!
From the moment we landed in Warsaw, and as we made our way through Poland, I felt a stronger connection to my Jewish identity than ever before. Each site we visited was like a call to action to bring forth the voices which could no longer speak for themselves.
But as I related to Adina, it was the morning of our third day in Poland that was the pinnacle of the trip for me. The rabbi leading our trip came over to me on the bus and asked me, just as she was asked if I would be willing to speak at the place to which we were headed. I did not yet know that we were going to the Children’s Forest nor did I know anything about what had happened there. He said it may be the hardest moment of the trip for many of us and felt that because I was a mom of young children, I could help bring the significance of this spot to life.
When we got there, he handed me a paper to read. It was a letter written by a young mother to her one-year-old daughter. The woman was sending her daughter away into hiding in order to save her life, as she knew that she herself would likely be sent to a death camp very soon. I read the letter and could barely get through it. She conveyed on that paper the torture of being torn from her baby, of the thought of never seeing her again. It was so real, so raw. Every member of our group was crying. I sat down on a tree trunk right next to the blue-painted fence of this mass grave, where 800 innocent children had been robbed of their lives, and I wept.
The group gathered to say some prayers and comfort one another, but I couldn’t move from my tree trunk. I felt an overwhelming desire to put my newfound feelings into words. I pulled out my phone and typed a letter to my daughter back at home.
“I didn’t know what it meant to purely love until I became your mother. I had no expectations for how those first moments would feel with you in my arms, but as I think of your beautiful faces now, I know I am fulfilling a special purpose. I am perpetuating our people who have endured persecution, expulsion, terrorism, and murder, all the while miraculously maintaining that unique identity that was the cause of the oppression. For this purpose, I feel incredibly lucky.” My time spent in the forest shifted my whole outlook on my critical role as a mother. Bringing Jewish children into the world is not simply about perpetuating numbers. It’s about kindling the Jewish souls in my charge.
And so, dear readers, that’s how I found myself sobbing on the phone together with a woman I barely knew. Yes, we had just met, but at that moment I felt that we were intimately connected because of our unique shared experience.
I also feel that it is not a coincidence that the material we received from the Shabbos Learning Program this week on Havdalah was about the fleeting nature of inspiration. We read that moments of clarity are like sparks. Most of the time they are only bold and bright for a brief time before they are gone and we feel ourselves slip back into the darkness of apathy and misdirection. But if kindled properly, like the Havdalah candle, they can turn into a blazing fire that lights up that darkness. It can be used as a memory one can tap into in time of need.
I’m so grateful that I didn’t have a chance to reschedule my learning session with my Partner in Torah.Read more
A life-enriching friend
A life-enriching friend
Renee Chernin
I can’t believe it has been 16 years since Amy and I have been partners.I think we connected right away. We share a love of history and went through Ken Spiro’s course on aish.com early in our learning together. Amy is open to many Jewish topics and I have been changed by the breadth of subjects we have read together. Of course, we also spend time shmoozing! We have shared difficult and stressful times and celebrated each other’s successes. I admire Amy’s commitment to Judaism and how she cultivates Jewish thought and tradition in her life. I think because of this, she has helped me not to take my Judaism for granted. We've also visited one another in person, despite the fact that we live oceans apart. Amy and her daughter are as precious as family to me. Thank you Partners in Torah for making our match and giving me a life enriching friend.Read more
The most thoughtful gift
The most thoughtful gift
Baila Karfunkel
My partner Ellen and I have been learning for 11 years. About 5 years ago,I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to undergo surgery. During that time, I faced a slow and grueling recovery. While many friends sent flowers, or contributed meals to our family meal train, Ellen's gift struck me as the most thoughtful. She knew what a reader I am, and paid for a subscription to Audible so that I could listen to books during my recovery. Not only did Ellen send something, but her gift showed that she knew me so well. It was exactly what I needed. Ellen is a blessing in my life, and I hope that everyone will be able to develop the type of friendship that we have through our weekly learning.Read more
An unexpected visitor
An unexpected visitor
Larry Lesser
During my father’s two-year battle with pancreatic cancer, Akiva and I would start our weeklylearning with an intention for his healing (along with a dedication in memory of Akiva’s father and of my father-in-law, z’’l). During the stressful period of my father’s decline, it was very comforting to have regular calls with someone who had knowledge and experience about what I was (and soon would be) going through. On Thursday May 5, 2016, my father passed away in Houston and I flew there. While it was meaningful to see many friends and relatives there, it was disorienting waiting 3 days for the burial and being surrounded mainly by people whose practice of Judaism is not as informed by tradition as mine now is. Attempting to balance connections with my faith, family, and home community, I decided to observe 2 days of shiva in Houston and then fly back to finish shiva at my home. When Akiva called my El Paso house Thursday night to learn, my wife Laurie answered and informed him that I was in Houston because my father had passed away, and then Akiva asked her for the mailing address of my parents’ 19th-floor Houston condo. She (and I) assumed that he was simply arranging to have a condolence card or tray of kosher food delivered. Imagine my surprise while sitting shiva in my mother’s living room on Monday to hear the phone ring from the building’s entry desk and my mother calling out, “Someone named Akiva is here to visit. Are you expecting him?” Sure enough, like a visiting angel, it was my chavruta all the way from Brooklyn! He walked in and gave me the ArtScroll book Mourning in Halachah -- a very helpful book since first-time mourners often do not have the chance to learn laws of mourning before they need to apply them (and later Akiva relayed some timely answers to followup questions I had after going through the book). Akiva joked that it was cheaper to bring me the book than to overnight mail it! He flew New York to Houston, drove a rental car straight to the condo to spend a meaningful hour with me, then drove back to the airport and flew back to New York. My relatives and I were stunned by the effort my partner had so graciously made for that shiva visit to someone he had previously spent only a few hours with in person. And when people asked how I knew that visitor from Brooklyn, it was a perfect opportunity to let them know about Partners in Torah. I hoped then that the next time we would meet would be for a simcha, and indeed when I went up to New York in 2018 for a family simcha, my wife and I went up a day earlier to be able to spend some wonderful time at Akiva's house.Read more
Genuine camaraderie in an age of shallow relationships
Genuine camaraderie in an age of shallow relationships
Forrest Kovach
Having a weekly Torah study session with a partner who shares your interests and isin a comparable stage of life is something special. My partner Bruce is far more knowledgeable about Torah than I am. Last year, I had the great opportunity to meet him in person. My wife Caren and youngest daughter Shira joined me on a visit to Bruce's hometown in Lawrence, New York, and it was amazing. Partners in Torah can help you find some camaraderie with your Jewish peers in this day of shallow relationships and only a few genuine friends. Jews of any age should consider letting Partners in Torah assist them in finding their chavrusa (study partner).Read more
Worlds apart, yet our paths have crossed
Worlds apart, yet our paths have crossed
Marni.S
My niece recently announced that she will not be becoming a Bat Mitzvah.
A little ofmy heart broke.
My sisters and I married Jewish men, and we thought that by raising our kids Jewish they would do as we had done - attend Sunday School, Hebrew School, have a Bat (Bar) Mitzvah and get confirmed. How is it that my daughter who is six is the last hope in our family of four grandkids for a Bat Mitzvah?
After giving it some thought I realized how can I ask my daughter to commit her time and energy (and enthusiasm) if I do not give of myself except on Jewish Holidays?
It was time for me to take action to make sure I am providing a Jewish home for my child to grow up in.
I heard a blogger I follow talk about Partners in Torah and I literally had tears running down my face. I immediately went to the site to register and have had two calls with my partner in Israel. Worlds apart yet our paths have crossed and it seems we already have found common ground and I have already learned so much. I look forward to our weekly calls and will immediately be applying our conversations to my home.
Thank you to Partners in Torah for this amazing opportunity.
Read more
So much in common!
So much in common!
Dana Basen
I am still in amazement that my partner and I were paired together. Weare exactly a year and a day apart in age and grew up less than a half a mile from one another, although we never met. Shira went to a girls Yeshiva and I attended public school. Although we each were raised in a different type of Jewish home, our thinking and perspectives of the world around us are much alike. We have much in common, including our love of our Jewish life and studies, family and nature. Whether reading from a book or learning from one another, our discussions prompt related memories from different times in our lives and allow us to learn much about each other's daily life and families. We've become friends and often exchange texts during the week about everything under the sun; and although we now live on opposite sides of the country, I know I will one day meet Shira in real life!Read more
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